Source: theblemish.com

Last week, news broke that Heidi Montag agreed to do a Playboy spread. Everyone figured it was the next logical step for attention whores like her and Spencer. However, we’ve been fooled.

TMZ reports that Heidi’s Playboy shoot is already done and it’s not that exciting. While she does show skin, two bulls-eyes are covering her tits. In other words, there’s no nudity.

How could Playboy mess this up? It’s not like Spencer and Heidi are master negotiators. They could have given them two options. One was $1,000 to do Playboy clothed. Another would be to do the shoot naked, but they’d get a really heavy duffel bag that looks like it could be filled with money. They’d probably have chosen the duffel bag and would only find out it was full of old phone books after finishing the shoot.

Source: theblemish.com

I’m more excited about slamming my penis in a car door than this. Heidi Montag’s sexy face looks like she just huffed a can of gas and now parts of her brain are dying.

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Source: theblemish.com

Al Roker was probably pissed off that he had to interview the wastes of space Heidi and Spencer Pratt. Which is why he felt the need to eviscerate them on the Today show. He called them “the …

Source: theblemish.com

Last week, news broke that Heidi Montag agreed to do a Playboy spread. Everyone figured it was the next logical step for attention whores like her and Spencer. However, we’ve been fooled. …

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Montag went with God on this one and decided to pose for Playboy in their September issue. PEOPLE says the nudity is “tasteful” and that she had a lot of fun with it. Meaning, they …

Source: theblemish.com

Over the weekend, reports claimed that Heidi Montag was rushed to the hospital for “convulsive vomiting” after she was forced to sit in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, …

Source: theblemish.com

E! says that the story of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag being kicked off the show was all a stunt to boost ratings. That or Spencer and Heidi realized they were nothing without reality tv and …

Source: theblemish.com

Proving that neither Heidi Montag nor Spencer Pratt are indispensable, NBC has already replaced the two after they both quit the show after only one day. Their replacements are Stephen Baldwin, …

Source: theblemish.com

News broke, more like dribbled, yesterday that Heidi and Spencer were acting like divas while filming I’m a Celebrity. They weren’t getting the star treatment they thought they deserved …

Source: theblemish.com

Only one day in and Heidi and Spencer already want out of the reality show I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! The two D-listers thought the show, which is being filmed in Costa Rica, would …

Source: theblemish.com

A while ago, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were photographed leaving a medical marijuana shop. Even more recently, Spencer accidentally posted a pic to Twitter of Heidi and a huge bong (above) …