Source: theblemish.com

Say hello to the new Ike and Tina Turner. PEOPLE reports that Rihanna may be back with Chris Brown. Voluntarily. Brown reached out to Rihanna on her 21st birthday and the two have been in contact ever since.

“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes.

Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.”

You know what they say: Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. That’s probably what’s going on here. Rihanna’s going to stab chopsticks into Chris Brown’s pee-hole while he sleeps. Something like that. I’m sure she has a plan. Right? She can’t be this dumb. Call me old fashioned, but when someone repeatedly punches you in the face, it may be a sign that the relationship is over.

Source: theblemish.com

Azharuddin Mohammed, the kid from Slumdog Millionaire is doing great. His father welcomed the little thespian home today by slapping him in the face and kicking him. If you’re wondering if this is customary in their culture, it is not, I don’t think.

The abuse started when Mohammed’s dad, Ismail, became enraged after he told him he wanted to be left alone after his long flight home from LA and didn’t want to be put on display outside of his home. Which is a tent.

His mother cried out for him to stop, but Ismail continued to dish out the physical punishment to the child-star.

Azharuddin stood up to his dad, flaring the temper of the 45-year-old, who launched himself at the lad shamelessly.

Azharuddin yelped out as he tried to evade the older man’s flailing hands and feet.

He dashed into the tent that makes up his family home, followed by his father, where the young Slumdog star tried to cower in the corner.

This kid was in an Oscar winning movie and he still lives in a tent. That’s… awesome. Looks like Mohammed knows how to keep it real. Unlike that snooty bitch Freida Pinto, all glamorous on the red carpets and basking in her fame. Mohammed probably thinks that Freida is a real piece of work.

Source: theblemish.com

85-year-old Ed McMahon has been hospitalized for more than three weeks with pneumonia. That’s three weeks no one has bothered to ask where the hell Ed McMahon was. You’d think people would care about the guy who lost almost everything and had to debase himself for FreeCreditReport and Cash4Gold to pay off his debts.

“Ed’s a big, strong, hearty guy and his family and I are hopeful and optimistic about his prognosis,” he said.

Bragman and McMahon’s family are “praying and hoping for the best and are appreciative of everyone’s thoughts and prayers,” Bragman said.

Shouldn’t this win the guy a free pass out of debt hell or will he have to spend the rest of his life shilling for anyone that will pay him. On his deathbed, will Ed have to force a grin, look into the camera and tell everyone what a great online funeral service FuneralsToGo.com is? That would be a shame because, personally, I think they overcharge.

Source: theblemish.com

If you have a wife and she’s just given birth, show these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini to her for inspiration. If she breaks down and cries, don’t worry, that’s part of the process. It might help if you point out that after a bit of working out, Alessandra maintains her body by doing yoga just once a week. Be sure offer her words of encouragement like, “It’s so easy, I don’t see why you can’t do it,” and “Three carrots a day is plenty.” If I know women, and I like to think I do, she’ll express her gratitude with many blow jobs.

Source: theblemish.com

It’s always mind blowing to see a bike as a millionaire’s preferred mode of transportation. You don’t often see normal people on bikes, period. Especially not ones wearing flowy dresses and carrying an oversized handbag. Unless of course you count that crazy crossdresser who rides around your local grocery store ringing his bike bell and stopping every so often to show unwilling strangers the dead rats he’s collected in his purse. Miley Cyrus can afford to have a bunch of men draw her around town in a carriage, but no, she chooses to ride her Electra. Good for her. I wouldn’t be able to show the same restraint.

Source: theblemish.com

A judge ruled on Thursday that Russell Simmons has to pay his ex-wife Kimora Lee Simmons $40,000 a month in child support. In addition, Kimora, who has her own reality show Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, ultimately decides whether or not to put her 9-year-old daughter, Ming, or her sister, 6-year-old, Aoki, on the show.

Russell Simmons does have visitation rights so he’ll be able to see that the $480,000 he’s paying Kimora every year has been put to good use. Granted, he’ll be a little confused when he sees his kids dressed in tattered rags, but it’ll all make sense once he uses the bathroom and discovers the solid gold computerized toilet and crushed panda bone hand soap.

Source: theblemish.com

You could turn Megan Fox into a centaur and she’d still look hotter than Sarah Jessica Parker. What’s that you say? She could even have a huge horse penis and she’d still be hotter? Dude, no. What’s wrong with you? Where do you come up with this stuff? Listen. I don’t think we should hang out anymore. You’re starting to creep me out.

Source: theblemish.com

When Pamela Anderson exited a Rolls Royce the other day, a photographer made the fatal mistake of taking an upskirt shot. Right after, his eyes packed a suitcase and left his face. The last thing they said to his brain was, “Good day, sir.” Pleading for them to stay, they replied, “I said, GOOD DAY, SIR!”

Source: theblemish.com

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady wed on Thursday at the St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica in a small, intimate ceremony which included only immediate family, Brady’s 1 1/2 year old son and his ex, Bridget Moynahan.

Together, scientists expect their DNA will high five and create a superrace of humans. Any babies born less than 9 pounds will be thrown in a ditch somewhere in rural Mexico.

Source: theblemish.com

Put on your fancy hats because you’re about to watch your childhood be ripped from your cold, clammy hands and be repeatedly raped by new Hollywood. Out of ideas since 1995, studio execs have decided to remake two more movies that shaped you.

First up is the NeverEnding Story. The 25-year-old tale will be given a “modern spin.” Per THR:

The new pic — which original producer Dieter Geissler also will produce and Sarah Schechter and Jesse Ehrman will oversee for Warners — will examine the more nuanced details of the book that were glossed over in the first pic.

Next up is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall.

Carolco was behind the original movie, which was distributed by TriStar. Dimension picked up the rights for a reported $3.15 million with the aim of developing a sequel. Columbia secured the rights from Miramax, which retained them when Harvey and Bob Weinstein left to start their own company.

Calling Dick’s story “prescient,” Moritz said he hoped the advancements in technology and state-of-the-art visual effects can help tell the “Recall” story in a fresh way.

Does this mean Falkor will be redone to not resemble an aborted puppy and to not give kids nightmares for the following few weeks after watching the film? And will the three-boob chick in Total Recall be updated with bigger boobs for the current generation? Will bigger boobs even be physically possible? So many questions.

Anyway. While you weep, remember the awesome music video.