Source: theblemish.com

2 hours after checking into the Royal Victoria Hospital for a mysterious illness, Janet Jackson checked out. No word on what she had, but tomorrow night’s concert in Boston has also been cancelled. A rep for the hospital simply said she was treated and released. Could it have something to do with Jermain Dupri puking in her lap? Or just the fact that her boyfriend is Jermaine Dupri? Because that’s gross.

Source: theblemish.com

Two more promos for How to Lose Friends & Alienate People featuring Megan Fox were released. Even though Kirsten Dunst is the real female lead in the movie, anything to distract from snaggletooth is welcome. In fact, they should just put a big censor dot over Kirsten’s head through the whole movie. At first it will look weird, but eventually I think everyone will come to appreciate it.

Source: theblemish.com

A few days ago, Sharon Stone lost joint custody of her son Roan. She denied it of course and called it a misunderstanding. Well, if this “Tentative Statement of Decision” just released by the court is any indication, the only misunderstanding was on Sharon’s part.

“Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan.” In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but “there was no evidence to support this allegation.”

And then the court says, “Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child.”

The judge differentiated very distinctly the difference between Bronstein and Stone, saying, “Father has championed for Roan’s well-being out of, what appears to this Court, nothing less than the unconditional love for his son. Unfortunately, and for unexplained reasons, it appears that Mother did not involve herself to the extent she could or should have in this process … Mother has attempted to put up roadblocks to Roan’s getting help, or has decided against participating in his care.”

By the looks of it, joint custody won’t be restored for Sharon unless one of two things happen. One, after years of evaluation by a licensed therapist, she’s deemed sane or two, she dies. And number one won’t happen any time soon. You could throw Roan in a den of abused lions and he’d be better off than with Sharon. If Sharon was still in charge of Roan, he’d probably be in his sixth round of chemotherapy and his tenth foot botox injection by the end of the year. I guess one can never be too careful. I mean, sure, he’ll be hairless and puking every day, but on the upside, he’ll have the smoothest feet ever.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton hasn’t yet learned from her Stars are Blind days that no one wants to hear her sing. People would rather tie a T-Bone to their genitals and have Michael Vick’s dogs sicked on them (timely reference!). I’m pretty sure people made her cry by telling her to her face as well.

Apparently, she chose not the listen because here she is with a new single called “My BFF” which is undoubtedly being released to promote her new MTV reality show where she sorts through a bunch of mentally unstable sycophants to find a new best friend.

Coincidentally, this is also how I find my best friends. I force a group of strangers to complete pointless tasks and exercises involving lie detectors and fecal matter. How else would I know they really want it?

You can listen to it here, here or down below.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hanging out in Mexico doing whatever it is lesbians do. Pillow fighting? Wearing sneakers with bikinis? Looking like a sickly cancer patient? Whatever it is, I hope Sam can handle the sun. The environment is much different than the dank, dark sewers she’s used to.

Source: theblemish.com

In the latest issue of Esquire, Anne Hathaway says that all women should try anal sex. I suggest if you’re a woman, you listen to Anne. She seems to know what she’s talking about.

“In an upcoming interview with Esquire the sexy “Get Smart” star states that one of the most sensual experiences in her life was anal intercourse with her boyfriend. She says “every woman should try it, otherwise they miss out on something amazing”. She also speaks about significance of the first time and the trustworthy partner and how the anal penetration makes her feel feminine in a very special way.”

In other news, Anne Hathaway is my new hero. Her commitment to anal sex excellence inspires everyone around her. In recent years, I’ve suggested to city council that a statue be erected of Anne Hat… hehehehe, I said “erected.”

Source: theblemish.com

The Daily Mail has more details on what led up to Heather Locklear’s DUI arrest on Saturday in Santa Barbara, California. Witnesses say Heather was “revving her engine loudly and repeatedly reversing over a pair of sunglasses in a car park in SB.” She then parked on the highway and “stumbled into traffic.”

Police made the 47-year-old balance on one foot to see if she was sober – but she had to steady herself on a road sign.

Patrol spokesman Tom Marshall said following the call from the resident, an officer found Locklear’s car parked on a state highway and blocking a lane in Montecito, a wealthy community about 90 miles northwest of Los Angeles.

A CHP officer was also caught taking pictures of Heather with their cellphone during the arrest. Officials claim he was documenting the scene, but others at CHP say officers aren’t allowed to use their personal cells, especially when they are arresting a celebrity. The videos and photos are being turned over to the D.A.

A week from now, Heather will be back on the streets. The judge will say running over a pair of sunglasses isn’t a crime and she stumbled into traffic because a bee was chasing her. Then he’ll sacrifice his virgin daughter in Heather’s name because celebrities are like gods in SoCal.

Source: theblemish.com

According to PEOPLE, Janet Jackson “got suddenly ill during the sound check” before her concert in Montreal. She was rushed to the hospital and is being monitored. The show has been rescheduled.

Sudden sickness? I think it’s lupus, but Dr. Gregory House insists, “IT’S NOT LUPUS!” Whatever Mr. Smarty Pants. We’ll see. How many times have you been right anyway?

Source: theblemish.com

A “source close to Britney” says there is no truth to the rumor that Adnan Ghalib is shopping around a 2-hour long sex tape. Reps from Britney’s label, Jive Records, have not returned calls for comment.

Hmm, a mysterious source tells E! there is no tape. That settles it then. There is no tape. You always have to believe these sources claiming they’re close to people. So much better than those sources with names who like to make stuff up.

Source: theblemish.com

Here are more shots of Jennifer Aniston hanging out in Los Cabos. This is newsworthy because, despite being pathetic and whiny, Jennifer Aniston is sort of famous. Do you see how this works?