Source: theblemish.com

The first time I saw Kate, I didn’t take much notice of her. Oh look, another beautiful Hollywood actress. La-dee-da. Then, I saw more pictures of her. I also hear her say things like eating vajajay. I’m hooked and think “Self, you got to hit that”. But how? That’s when I called up my friend who works in the “biz”. We brainstormed and came up with a halfway decent plan. He paid off a couple of paparazzi to let us know when they see her. Not totally original, but it was a plan.

Lo and behold, she stops by in Malibu. We get the call and I rush over there. Just as we get there, she’s in line to buy ice cream. Or candy. I couldn’t tell because her beauty was quite blinding.

“Dude, grab the camera. I’ve got a foolproof way to meet her.”

Friend grabs the camera, I line up behind her. And what you see are pics from the greatest moment of Kate’s life.

“Kate! I’m your biggest fan!” I yell, then pull out my wiener. *click click* The first two pics (here and here) capture her shy, schoolgirl smile at my boldness.

“Seriously, Kate, I’m your biggest fan”. I then pull out the rest of it. *click click* The next two pics (here and here) show quite different emotions from Kate. Shock? Terror? Panic??

I heard her murmur “Oh my”. The rest is fuzzy because LAPD then tasered me. Which is how I ended up here.

Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy

Source: theblemish.com

If the real Red Riding Hood looked like this, I would have understood why the Big Bad Wolf wanted to eat her. Although, his raging erection would have made that hard to do.

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Source: theblemish.com

Every year Spike TV holds its annual Scream Awards to celebrate hot chicks in horror movies. At least I think that’s what it’s all about. Look, I just know that through all these pictures, …

Source: theblemish.com

OMG, OMG, OMG! Blurry photos of Kate Beckinsale snorkeling in a black and white bikini? Can this day get any better? If I can find enough loose change underneath my couch cushions to buy lunch …

Source: theblemish.com

Yesterday, a few pictures of Kate Beckinsale in an orange bikini showed up. I’ll admit it was pretty cool, but today, more photos from that set have come out and they’re awesome. Because
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Source: theblemish.com

There were a few other Kate Beckinsale bikini pictures today, but they were dotty, not unlike a magic eye poster. I’ll spare you from going cross-eyed staring at them only to find out you …

Source: theblemish.com

Remember a couple days ago TMZ posted a video of Kate Beckinsale’s kid accidentally stepping on her dress, forcing it down and popping her boob out, but the cameraman stepped behind a pole …

Source: theblemish.com

TMZ has footage of Kate Beckinsale, her husband, their kid and their kid’s friend walking down Beverly Hills the other day when all of a sudden Kate inexplicably pulls down her top almost …

Source: theblemish.com

You’d think Kate Beckinsale would be the last to suffer from body image issues. She’s a 10 and I’d pretty much kidnap her and chain her to my basement if it wasn’t already occupado right …

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in.”

- Kate Beckinsale says she is too good at sex
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Source: theblemish.com

Kate Beckinsale told Glamour Magazine that being a good cook and being good at sex are mutually exclusive. Kate, of course, is good at sex.
“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. …