Archive for November 27th, 2007

Quotables

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

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“When I found out that I was pregnant, there was just something inside of me that felt a responsibility to mend any issues that I’ve had with my parents in the past, because, listen, I’ve put them through a lot.”

Nicole Richie, to Access Hollywood.

Nicole adds that she doesn’t know the sex of the baby, mostly at the request of Joel Madden. “If he wasn’t at every doctor’s appointment, I probably would have found out by now just behind his back and not told him,” she says.

Published on November 27th, 2007 in Joel Madden, Nicole Richie
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Kim Kardashian was set up

Source: theblemish.com

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian and sister, Kourtney Kardashian, were signing autographs at JFK airport for Delta employees when $50,000 worth of jewelry and electronics were stolen from her bags.

A source close to Kim tells TMZ that when several Delta employees asked for autographs and photos with her, items were somehow lifted from her bags. The items include $50,000 worth of diamond jewelry, a Cartier watch, and Kim’s laptop and digital camera — contents unknown!

You gotta be pretty dumb to have fifty grand worth of stuff stolen when you’re right there. Not quite Britney Spears dumb, but Paris Hilton dumb. In Kim’s defense, her ass is pretty big and it does create a blind spot where criminal activity can occur without her knowledge.

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Jessica Alba is eye-catching

Source: theblemish.com

Jessica Alba’s new Chinese horror remake, The Eye, takes us on a journey of the supernatural after an eye transplant. Which is all fine and dandy, but I think the directors were focusing too much on the scares and missed a pretty important part of the plot. For anyone, especially Jessica Alba, who’s had an eye transplant and can now see, common sense dictates that there should be a good amount of time — about 45 minutes worth — dedicated to exploring one’s own body. Sensually. With massage oil. And possibly with another woman equally as sexy and equally as naked. But, I guess the directors didn’t want realism in their movie so they substituted prolonged self-exploration with creepy ghosts. Typical Hollywood.

Brendan Fraser has changed

Source: theblemish.com

Brednan Fraser

Male pattern baldness has claimed another victim and his name is Brendan Fraser. In 2003, Fraser bore an eerie resemblance to a mad scientist touching one of those electrostatic globes as evidenced on the left banner pic. Yesterday in Shanghai, he appeared to have miraculously grown back a thick head of hair. Was it the holistic medicine of the Orient or something more sinister? The Daily Mail speculates,

Perhaps it’s courtesy of a hair transplant or an old fashioned toupee, but whatever the case, he looked to be rather pleased with the result, giving fans a thumbs up as he left the studio.

Coincidentally, this is what I imagined Tyra Banks’ head to look like. Imagine a woman running her hand through that thing on the left. By the time she gets to the end of it, she’ll probably have a good chunk of thinning hair stuck in her fingers. And no way is Brendan gonna part with that precious commodity that easily so he’ll let out a nervous chuckle, un-weave the hair from her hand and try to super glue it back to his scalp. All the while, he’s grinning his maniacal grin and motioning her to put down her purse because any attempts at escape will be thwarted by the combination lock on the front door.

Lindsay Lohan has a therapist

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Alie

Lindsay, her sister Ali, mother Dina and father Michael were at their home in New York to attend a family therapy session over Thanksgiving weekend. Lindsay’s unfortunately named little brother Dakota was allowed to skip the meeting.

Also tagging along to Long Island was new boyfriend Riley Giles. But, instead of spending time with the Lohans, the recently rehabbed Riley went clubbing throughout the weekend. Meanwhile, Lindsay substituted one addiction for another and went on a shopping spree with her little sister Ali in an effort to whore her up for the boys.

“Lindsay and Ali were having so much fun shopping, and Lindsay was helping her little sister pick out clothes,” said a source, who saw the girls on Black Friday.

There’s a scary thought. A mini-Lindsay running around. Flashing her vagina like her attention starved big sister. She isn’t 18 yet, right? Yea, totally disgusting. She should be in school learning the Pythagorean theorem or how to solve differentials, not running around New York in a g-string and wonder-bra. Being a whore never helped anyone figure out how to pay off their student loans despite what those pornos claim.

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Miss Puerto Rico is faking it

Source: theblemish.com

Ingrid Rivera

Yesterday, it was reported Puerto Rico’s 2008 Miss Universe contestant Ingrid Marie Rivera’s clothing had been sprayed with pepper spray by another contestant. This caused her to twice break out in hives and she had to be iced down backstage, but she managed to keep her composure and win. Not so fast say authorities. Police are now wondering how Ingrid managed to stop crying while she was on air.

“They’re saying, they think she made it up?” Vieira [of The View] asked reporter Kerry Sanders, who replied: “They’re looking into it. They’re curious.”

Rivera is due to be interviewed on Wednesday’s Today show, where, on Tuesday, co-anchor Matt Lauer said he intended to get to the bottom of the mystery.

I’ve accidentally rubbed my eyes after handling peppers so I have a good idea what this feels like. If you’re like me, courageous and strong, it won’t affect you at all. But, if you are a mere mortal (suckers) you can somewhat neautrilize it with whole milk. Then again, the pepper was on her clothes and not in her eyes so I don’t see why she was crying. Maybe she just saw 2girls1cup? I wanted to cry after watching that too. Poor janitor.

The adaptive reason why we pay attention to celebrity gossip

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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Evolutionary psychology is the study of human behavior as the result of natural selection. Our patterns in choosing mates, reproducing, and going about our daily activities are explained as adaptations of how our ancestors adjusted to their environments. Our primary goal as humans, claim followers of evolutionary psychology, is to make sure that our genes are passed on to the next generation. For that reason, women may seek out older, more wealthy mates that can provide for offspring, while men may look for younger, more fertile females who can produce more heirs.

Our primitive ancestors lived in small groups, under which they had to ensure that their needs were met. Our tendencies to help others, even in modern-day society in which we receive no direct benefit, are explained as an adaptive way that we ensured our own survival through reciprocity.

In primitive societies where everyone lived together, it was also incredibly important to pay attention to who was sleeping with whom and who did what. We’re naturally nosy because we once needed gossip to survive. If someone was pregnant, breaking up or hooking up, our ancestors needed to know because it directly affected them. The media makes celebrities recognizable to everyone, and it’s in our nature to talk about them as if they were friends and family:

Morality most likely evolved in these tiny bands of 100-200 people as a form of reciprocal altruism, or I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine. But as Lincoln noted, men are not angels. There are cheaters. Individuals defect from informal contracts. Reciprocal altruism, in the long run, only works when you know who will cooperate and who will defect. In these small groups cooperation is regulated through a complex feedback loop of communication between members of the community. (This also helps to explain why people in big cities can get away with being rude, inconsiderate, and uncooperative—they are anonymous and thus not subject to the normal checks and balances that come with knowing people and seeing them every day.) In order to play the game of reciprocation you need to know whose back needs scratching and who you will trust to scratch yours. This information is gathered through telling stories abou other people, better known as gossip. According to anthropologist Jerome Barkow (1992, 627-628):

If no one tells you the gossip, you are an outsider. Gossip from an anthropologist’s perspective is a means of social control, a sanction that forces one to adhere more closely to social norms than one would otherwise be inclined. Reputation is determined by gossip, and the casual conversations of others affect one’s relative standing and one’s acceptability as a mate or as a partner in social exchange. In Euro-American society, gossiping may at times be publicly disvalued and disowned, but it remains a favorite pastime, as it no doubt is in all human societies.

The etymology of the word “gossip,” in fact, is enlightening. The root stems are “god” and “sib” and meant “akin or related.” Its early use included “one who has contracted spiritual affinity with another,” “a godfather or godmother,” “a sponsor,” and “applied to a woman’s female friends invited to be present at a birth” (where they would gossip). The word then mutates into talk surrounding those who are akin or related to us (Oxford English Dictionary). Not surprising, we are especially interested in gossiping about the activities of others that most effects our inclusive fitness, that is, our reproductive success, the reproductive success of our relatives, and the reciprocation of those around us. In the Bio-Cultural Evolutionary Pyramid from the previous chapter, gossip and storytelling are most common and effectual in the middle levels of the family, extended family, and community. It is here where we find our favorite subjects of gossip—sex, generosity, cheating, aggression, violence, social status and standings, births and deaths, political and religious commitments, physical and psychological health, and the various nuances of human relations, particularly friendships and alliances. Normal gossip, then, is about relatives, close friends, and those in our immediate sphere of influence in the community, plus members of the community or society that are high ranking or have high social status. Gossip is the stuff of which not only soap operas, but grand operas are made.

But why, in our culture, do we gossip about total strangers, namely celebrities? The probable reason is that the mass media makes these figures so familiar to us that they seem like our relatives, friends, and members of the community. This is true even for fictional characters on television. “Who shot JR?” was a topic of much conversation in the 1980s. If we do not have Cinderella, we create one in people like Diana Spencer. Why would anyone care who Princess Diana slept with or what her status was within the Royal Family? Because our Pleistocene brains are being tricked into thinking that Princess Diana is someone we personally know and someone we should care about.

[Written by Michael Shermer and found on Human-nature.com]

So when you indulge in celebrity gossip daily, don’t feel guilty, it’s in our nature. It’s also in our nature to overeat to prepare for inevitable periods of scarcity which never come, so I guess I shouldn’t keep trying to justify my celebrity obsession with scientific reasons.

Thanks to my friend David for reminding me of this. I’ve read a few books on evolutionary psychology, but that was years ago and I’m by no means an expert. If you know more about this field please add your thoughts in the comments.

Here is Wikipedia’s entry on Evolutionary Psychology, and here’s a FAQ about the field. I also wanted to recommend David Buss’ book Evolution of Desire, but a lot of hardcore evolutionary psychologists are trashing it for being too salacious without enough substance. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed it.

Published on November 27th, 2007 in Psychology, Science
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Britney gets the kids for X-Mas

Source: theblemish.com

Britney Spears

Lawyers for both sides have worked out an agreement allowing Britney Spears to spend Christmas day with her two children. The dysfunctional pop star will now be able to spoil her kids rotten with whatever gifts she sees fit. Gifts like that empty box which once held Britney’s sex swing. Yes, perfect! Now, listen kids. While mommy runs to Home Depot to buy sex swing hangers for the plus-sized woman, you guys can pretend that cardboard box is a car, a time machine or maybe you prefer something more realistic? An early grave, perhaps?

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Carmen Electra to sell home stripper poles

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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In 2003 Carmen Electra put out a 5 DVD set of aerobic stripping videos to help women get in shape at home while exciting their men. The Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease Collection isn’t much of a workout, according to some reviewers on Amazon, but others find it sexy and motivating. She’s said to also be planning a line of home stripper poles for housewives to better practice their moves while keeping their husbands away from the strip clubs. It should quickly pay for itself in saved tips and drink costs.

An insider close to [Carmen Electra] says she’s close to signing a deal to endorse stripper poles for homes. “It’s something her people are looking into,” the insider says, adding that Carmen herself has a stripper pole in her house.

[From Life and Style, print edition, December 3, 2007]

Home stripper poles were recently popularized by Kim Kardashian’s precocious little 9-year-old sister, who creepily demonstrated her moves on their family’s new faux-reality show, using the pole in her parents’ bedroom.

Carmen Electra might need the money that comes with a new endorsement deal. She’s suing the Naked Women’s Wrestling League for not paying her $400,000 they owe her and using her name and likeness on their DVDs such as Operation Naked Storm and Tag Team Dream. She’s suing them for $3.3 million for damage to her branding. If only they would have paid her what they owed her, they could have saved a lot in attorney’s fees.

Carmen demonstrated her moves on The Tonight Show in March of 2006, laying on her back and spreading her legs wide to the delight of fellow guest Rob Schneider.

Here she is at the launch of Dr. Rey’s Shapewear on 10/15/07. I really don’t like her new hair, it looks greasy like that and the color doesn’t suit her. That raccoon eye makeup really confounds the problem. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

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Linda Hogan has demands

Source: theblemish.com

Linda Hogan

Despite a few reports claiming Linda Hogan wants to work things out, documents make it clear what she wants following the divorce. A share of the Hogan’s two multi-million dollar estates and alimony and child support for their son, Speed Racer Speed Killer Speed Coma-er? Nick Hogan.

The marital assets that need to be equitably divided include the nearly 17,000-square-foot mansion in Belleair where the family lives and a 3,474-square-foot home on Clearwater Beach.

Pinellas County records place the market value of the Belleair mansion at more than $7.2 million and the Clearwater house at more than $2.2 million. The Bolleas also have a condominium under construction in Las Vegas.

Nick Hogan is turning 18 next year and he’s still in trouble for putting his friend in a coma. Footage of his mom encouraging drag racing was recently unearthed. Why a judge would give custody of Nick to Linda is beyond me. Unless it’s to form a life endangering drag racing duo to save the world from nefarious pedestrians one innocent bystander at a time. Come to think of it, that would be a clever move. For too long have we suffered under the iron fist of people using the crosswalk.

Before I forget, here’s their more muscular son in a bikini. If this was Sparta, they would have kept Brooke and thrown Nick off a cliff.

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