Source: theblemish.com

Feel free to celebrate the day after Thanksgiving with these pics of Kate Walsh in a bikini in Hawaii. I can only assume she’s someone famous because people don’t randomly take 100 photos of a random chick in a bikini. Well, at least they don’t get paid for it as often as they should anyway. I mean, um, it’s just a hobby. There’s no need to involve the authorities.

Source: theblemish.com

Kate Hudson just might be the world’s most perfect woman. Smooth, white skin. Soft features. Bubbly personality. Tight body.

Unfortunately, her kid gets in the way. Trust me. Have you ever been making sweet love with a woman, screaming like banshees and her kid walks in? So not cool. Especially when they start comparing your penis to daddy’s. Very uncomfortable. Who wants to hear that? – Captain Swarthy

Source: theblemish.com

Court documents revealed the oft maligned Joe Francis has claimed Oklahoma prison guards threatened to tie him naked to a chair for 48 hours and withheld food and blankets.

Oklahoma prison officials deny claims of abuse, telling the Oklahoman newspaper Francis was “treated like every inmate that comes through the Grady County Law Enforcement Center.”

Welcome to Joe’s pity party. Boo hoo, they want to strap him naked to a chair. Sob, no food or blankie for little Joey. Wahh, the inmates sneak into his cell every night, hold a shiv to his throat and rape him. God, Joe Francis whines more than a fat kid who dropped his marshmallow sandwich.

Source: theblemish.com

Every white woman, at one time or another, has wondered if the stereotype is true. Hayden Panetierre is wondering if Ne-Yo has the answer.

The brothas must hate feeling like sexual objects. Every woman who wants the Mandingo experience seeks them out. They take a walk on the wild side, then go back to their lily-white world. Like Chris Rock says, everyone wants to be black, but no one wants to BE black. Don’t people know blacks have feelings too?

My point? Homie’s gonna put Hayden’s booty to sleep. - Captain Swarthy

Source: theblemish.com

Boy George has been charged with false imprisonment after a Norwegian man claimed he was handcuffed to a bed and threatened with sex toys by the singer and an unidentified man back in April. Thursday, George posted bail and fled the courtroom refusing to answer any questions. If convicted, Boy George could spend life in prison.

The alleged victim, Auden Karlsen, claims he and Boy George met on the Web site Gaydar and he agreed to go to the entertainer’s apartment to pose for photos in exchange for about $840.

Karlsen claims the “Karma Chameleon” singer and an unidentified man changed into sadistic creeps and held him captive.

“I was convinced I was going to die,” Karlsen told the Daily Mail of London earlier this year.

After allegedly cuffing Karlsen, Boy George produced a box of whips and sex toys and threatened the victim, who has denied reports he’s a male prostitute, the Mail reported.

This guy is a weirdo. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that if you chain someone to your bed against their will and they see your face, you’re gonna get in trouble. Did Boy George think Karlsen wouldn’t snitch because he didn’t sodomize him with a 6 inch wide dildo? I’m sure that’ll go over real well in court. “Judge, in my defense, I let him go without prolapsing his rectum. Clearly, it’s a win-win.”

Source: www.celebitchy.com

My heart really goes out to Joe Francis these days. I mean could the man who’s imprisonment is “one of the greatest miscarriages of justice ever” possibly get a fair shake? Naw. The man with the world’s most insincere smile seems to have a problem with not getting special treatment. He claims to have been brutally abused during his brief two week stay at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center in Oklahoma. He claims that he was denied food and blankets and threatened with being strapped naked to a chair for two days. It appears that he actually just had one of his contraband extra blankets confiscated, and they refused to special order his fillet mignon medium rare. And the strapping into the chair naked thing? I’m pretty sure that’s what Joe considers a good time, so I don’t know what the hell he’s complaining about. Okay the steak thing isn’t true, but the other two are.

The millionaire producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series has accused guards of abusing him during his brief stay at an Oklahoma jail, a newspaper reported Friday. Guards at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center denied Joe Francis food and blankets and threatened to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours, Francis’ attorneys alleged last month in court papers seeking his release on bail in a Florida case, The Oklahoman reported.

Grady County officials denied the accusations, telling the newspaper that guards never threatened to strap Francis to a chair, that Francis had an extra blanket he shouldn’t have had confiscated and that his transfer was delayed because his family had somehow found out when he was to have been moved, creating a potential security risk.

“Mr. Francis was treated like every inmate that comes through the Grady County Law Enforcement Center,” jail administrator Shane Wyatt told the newspaper.

[From Yahoo! News]

I think that last sentence perfectly summarizes the problem here. Joe Francis was treated like everyone else, and not like the sexy rock star he is. And if I were Joe Francis and I looked into the mirror and saw my Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks face looking back at me all sexy and didn’t get special treatment for looking so good, I’d be pretty damn pissed too. Seriously, does anyone even care if Joe Francis gets shanked in prison? I didn’t think so. All his hissy fitting it just giving the rest of us more opportunities to make fun of him. And let’s be honest, with a face like that, he probably shouldn’t give us more fodder than we already have.

Source: theblemish.com

Celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, phoned Angelina Jolie to congratulate her on her film Beowulf and in the process, mangled her daughter’s name when he asked how she was doing. Instead of calling her Shiloh Pitt, Jamie called her Piloh Shit. I’m pretty sure Angelina was pissed, but he apologized by sending a dessert mixed with her favorite cereal, Cheerios.

An insider said: “It was just a slip of the tongue. But it did sound like he was dissing her first-born.”

If you want to see Angelina Jolie naked, it’s best not to call her daughter a pile of shit. That’s something I picked up in charm school. You guys can thank me later. Also, don’t squeeze her breasts and make honking noises. Apparently, her security guards have no sense of humor and are pretty trigger happy with their tasers. That piece of advice comes straight from my electrically charged balls.

Note: There’ll be very little updates today because I have a sexy date with half of a turkey.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

As a general rule, I think it’s mean to cherry pick pictures of celebrities to find the very worst ones. I mean if you had a thousand flashes going off in your face at once, of course there’s going to be some terrible pictures where you’re mid-blink or turning your head in a way that – when frozen on film – makes you look scary-ass. But from the photos taken of Amy Winehouse visiting her jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil in lockup, it’s almost impossible to find a photo where she doesn’t look like a crazed lunatic. I’m not kidding, look here and here. She looks like a cartoon parody of herself. I’m not quite sure how she can make her jaw jut forward like a barracuda like that. I tried to get mine to do it and nearly dislocated the lower portion.

Amy was in attendance in court today as Blake was denied bail. He’s being held for witness tampering in his assault case. I don’t think the assault would have gotten him much time – it hardly got any press, considering how famous Amy is – but the witness tampering is pretty significant, and being denied bail means Blake will spend Christmas in jail.

Amy Winehouse wiped away tears as her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil was denied bail today. Fielder-Civil, 25 – who is charged with conspiracy involving alleged witness tampering in his upcoming assault trial – will spend Christmas in jail awaiting a Jan. 18 hearing. Should his case go to trial, Judge David Robson said he was “penciling in early June.”

As he was led away, Fielder-Civil held his hand to his ear like a telephone and mouthed, “I’ll call you,” through the glass of the defendant’s box. Winehouse waved and blew him two kisses.

The troubled singer, 24, arrived at Snaresbrook Crown Court at 10:40 a.m., wearing a long-sleeved black minidress and a yellow scarf around her trademark beehive. Outside the court, police ushered away a crowd of about 30 women all dressed as the Winehouse.

[From People]

What an unusual way to show support. Dressing like Amy Winehouse. I’m guessing that would entail giant, natty, frizzy, behived hair, bloody ballet slippers, and track marks? I’m now curious to see what this court room looks like. There’s glass over the defendant’s box? I wonder if that’s common, or just because Blake Fielder-Civil has a lot of people who’d like to take him out?

Amy sat next to Blake’s brother and a few spots away from her mother in law Georgette, with whom she is (always) feuding. Georgette has a penchant for talking to the press about Amy’s problems instead of actually talking to Amy.

The “Back to Black” singer spoke briefly to her mother-in-law and to one of her husband’s lawyers, all the while checking for signs that Fielder-Civil himself was going to appear. When he finally did, just before 11 a.m., he was smiling and winking.

“I love you,” he mouthed to his wife, asking, “Are you all right?” She nodded.

Winehouse, who clutched the thick gold heart-and-anchor charms she wore around her neck as if they were a rosary, watched wide-eyed as the judge agreed to hear Fielder-Civil’s argument for bail in chambers because of the “intense scrutiny from the press.” The rest of the nearly two-hour hearing continued in private.

When the proceeding wrapped, at 12:30 p.m., a grim-looking Winehouse refused to speak to the press as she hopped into a car with blacked-out windows. She is scheduled to appear in concert at London’s Brixton Academy tonight.

[From People]

So I’m assuming that if he was denied bail, that means Blake Fielder-Civil could be in jail until that early June date if he’s denied again on January 18th. Let’s hope so. A good long while apart could do both of those co-dependent addicts a lot of good. Maybe enough good for one of them to get clean and lose the other.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Remember when that story came out that there were nude pictures of Demi Moore being held for ransom by a Parisian cab driver after Ashton Kutcher supposedly left his cell phone in a cab? We never saw those photos, so maybe that story was bullshit, or perhaps Ashton payed dearly to protect his wife’s image. (snicker)

The latest issue of our favorite tabloid, The National Enquirer, has a story claiming that there are even more cringe-worthy photos possibly coming. 50 year-old gummy-grinning newscaster Katie Couric is being blackmailed for $1 million over photos that her 33 year-old boytoy, Brooks Perlin, left at a party. Katie’s camp claims they’re just friendly vacation snaps, but why would someone try to extort a million bucks out of Katie for some tame personal pictures?

“Intimate” snapshots of Katie Couric romping with her hot young sweetie Brooks Perlin have been discovered in a camera that Katie left behind at a party, insiders say.

Now sources say the pictures are in the hands of a person who’s demanding a whopping $1 million to return them… !

“The personal photos have been described as ‘intimate’ – and Katie obviously never wants them to be made public,” a source told The Enqurier.

“While there are no nude photos of Katie, she looks anything but the anchor of a network newscast in them. They’re candid pictures taken on trips and dates with Brooks.

“If these photos make their way to web sites and blogs, it could be very embarrassing.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 3, 2007]

So is Katie wasted in these pictures? Is she wearing lingerie or posing seductively or something? I want to know!

The Enquirer broke the story of the Vanessa Hudgens nude pictures before they got out, so they could be on the money with this one.

Katie has been dating triathlete Brooks Perlin for a little over a year. He has his own business selling green materials to construction companies and lives in Connecticut. The NY Post called him a “serial dater of older women” and claim he’s a creep who checks out every woman who walks by.

Katie has said to have had rage problems in her post at CBS, and she’s said to go off on her co-workers and staff. An article this spring suggested she was boozing to cope with stress.

I hope this story is true and that these photos come out soon. It’s about time Katie Couric had a scandal.

Katie is shown on 10/16/07 at a Project ALS event, thanks to PRPhotos.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Television shows aren’t the only things suffering because of the writer’s strike. Though they’re impacted in a much more immediate sense (the lag time between when a show is written and when we see it on TV is a lot shorter than with a movie) the film industry is also suffering. Not only are scripts not being written, but rewrites can’t be done for movies that are in (or near) the filming process. One movie that’s suffered is the adaptation of the BBC series “State of Play” which was to star Brad Pitt. But Brad has grown so disillusioned with the current script – which can’t be rewritten – that he’s walked out on the film, leaving everyone in the lurch and potentially exposing himself to litigation.

Brad Pitt is facing possible legal action after quitting his new film amid script concerns. Pitt was set to join Dame Helen Mirren, Edward Norton, Robin Wright Penn and Rachel McAdams in a big-screen adaptation of hit BBC series State of Play. In recent weeks, the heartthrob actor had been in a series of meetings with director Kevin MacDonald over the script, which cannot be worked on at the moment due to the current Hollywood writers strike.

Sources say Pitt, 43, was unhappy the movie did not follow his vision and his sudden departure has left the film’s schedule in limbo. Filming was set to begin on November 15. U.S. reports claim Universal Studios are considering their legal options and may even sue the actor. Hollywood trade paper Variety reports Universal would have the option to sue Pitt if they cannot find a suitable replacement.

A statement from Universal reads: “Brad Pitt has left the Universal Pictures production of State of Play. We remain committed to this project and to the filmmakers, cast members, crew and others who are also involved in making the movie. We reserve all rights in this matter.”

[From the Daily Mail]

The script must be really bad for Brad to walk out on his contract like that. Not only could he possibly get sued, but it will certainly sully any future negotiations with Universal. And it doesn’t make him look very professional. Though to be fair, putting out a bad movie wouldn’t help his career, so he probably weighed his options and figured leaving the project was the least damaging route to take. At first I was a little surprised that the script – which one would assume was written by British writers – couldn’t be worked on because of the Hollywood strike. But several other writer’s guilds aren’t working on any projects involving US productions as a show of solidarity. Something tells me no matter what happens, not much could hurt Brad’s career at this point.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Brad Pitt is shown at the Beowulf movie premiere in London on 11/11/07, thanks to PRPhotos.