Source: theblemish.com

I have this strange feeling that if you were to break up with Heidi Klum, you might literally die.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

I think David Hasselhoff’s career is in just the right place. I mean he’s David Hasselhoff; he’s a punch line to like 36 jokes, what more does he want? A lot, apparently. The Hoff is not pleased with the state of his career and the types of roles he’s been offered lately. And apparently he blames his agent. I don’t want to be a jerk, but I think David has a little bit to do with it. And maybe all those cheesy CDs he put out in Germany. No offense to Celebitchy, who, as a future German, I assume must love David Hasselhoff (that’s a prerequisite for a visa, housing, and health insurance in Germany).

David Hasselhoff has been spotted having a “huge tantrum” over the state of his career. The 55-year-old star – a judge on US TV show ‘America’s Got Talent’ – was seen berating his agent in a foul-mouthed rant over lunch in the Beverley Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge restaurant on Friday afternoon, before stunning onlookers by storming out.

One fellow diner told the New York Post newspaper: “It was amazing. Everyone could hear that he was in a bad mood and complaining bitterly about the sort of jobs he has been offered lately. The fact that he was having a huge tantrum was bad enough, but when he just got up and stormed out everyone was sitting there open-mouthed.”

[From AZcentral]

Did it occur to him that maybe putting out “Don’t Hassel the Hoff: The Autobiography” wasn’t the greatest way to improve his serious acting career? Just a thought.

In other Hasselhoff news that seems to make David much less mad, his 15-year-old daughter Hayley just got a contract with the Ford Modeling Agency to be a plus-sized model. Hayley and David had an interview with “Access Hollywood’s” Nancy O’Dell the other day, in which they discussed Hayley’s modeling.

“Did you feel the pressures of Hollywood where everybody has got to be stick thin?” O’Dell asked.

“No I have always been up and down in my weight. It has always gone — I have been on diets. I have probably tried every diet since I was like 10,” Hayley replied. “So, I mean, I am not going to be a size 2 and I finally really looked at my body and I am comfortable with who I am. I think that’s what plus-size models should be — you know, that is what they represent. They represent girls who are voluptuous and have beautiful bodies and who actually are confident,” Hayley added.

“What was your first reaction when you saw (the) beautiful pictures of your daughter?” Nancy asked David.

“That she has got it. You know you either have it or you don’t have it,” he said.

[From MSNBC]

Something tells me Hayley may end up being a much bigger celebrity than either of her parents. Considering what loonies she comes from, she appears to be a normal, pretty smart kid. I’m guessing smart enough not to put out an album called “David Hasselhoff: Everybody Sunshine” and then blame her agent for everyone making fun of her. Especially since that’s not her name. You get the point.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Taylor Ann, David and Hayley Hasselhoff at the Simpsons movie premiere on July 24th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Source: theblemish.com

In these pictures we see a supermodel named Le Call traipsing about the beach in a bikini. What we don’t see in these pictures is her current boyfriend Owen Wilson. Quite odd because when a couple goes on vacation in Hawaii, they are often photographed together. Maybe Owen Wilson is not in these photographs because he’s locked in the men’s room. Maybe there is a closed for cleaning sign outside the door and maybe a certain individual threw into the ocean the only key to the windowless bathroom. But, I’m not one to deal in maybe’s. I like to live in the now. Like, now I’m going to have sex with Owen Wilson’s girlfriend. How you ask? Well, allow me to answer your question with a question. Isn’t it rather amazing how easy it is to become Owen with just a blond wig and a comically huge nose?

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Amy Winehouse is absolutely determined not to hide her drug habit – from anyone. You look back over the course of history and think of the people who refused to hide something they were proud of. They proudly displayed whatever it was for everyone to see, and eventually they forced the backwards-thinking world to accept that they were right. The gay couple who refused to hide their love… the interracial couple who refused to hide their love… and in Amy Winehouse’s case, the drug abuser who refused to hide her love… for crack. Amy Winehouse so obviously flaunts her drug use that one can only assume she’s actually trying to promote it. And apparently the United Nations agrees with me (as they often do).

Celebrities such a s Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss are glamorizing cocaine use and fueling problems in Africa, according to the UN’s drug chief. The Rehab singer, 24, and supermodel Moss, 33, were singled out by Antonio Maria Costa as he warned that drug use in Britain directly contributed to the ‘complete collapse’ of some West African countries where drug cartels corrupt vulnerable governments.

“Rock stars like Amy Winehouse become popular singing, ‘I ain’t going to rehab;. A sniff here and a sniff there in Europe are causing another disaster in Africa. Europeans now understand they should not buy blood diamonds, or clothes made in sweatshops. Yet with cocaine, the opposite occurs.”

Colombian drug barons are sending scores of “mules” to Europe every week from countries such as Nigeria and Ghana where local officials can be bought off, he claimed.

[From the Metro]

I’m pretty sure Amy Winehouse is actually a drug mule. You know that woman could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Hell, she could probably snort one. She’s probably also responsible for at least half of the collapse of West African countries due to drug cartels. The amount of drugs that woman consumes is astronomical. Of Amy’s concert last night, the Daily Mail noted:

After the disastrous opening night of her UK tour, one might have thought Amy Winehouse would be trying to keep her nose clean. But judging by the white powder lodged in her nostril, that seems to be far from the case.

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m going to assume the best, and believe that Amy Winehouse just has a serious Afrin addiction like me. Sometimes when your allergies go crazy, you use so much that it can congeal with the other crazy stuff going on in your sinuses… okay well no. I mean it can, but it still looks like what it is, not like cocaine. But I’m tired of Amy Winehouse’s crazy drug issues, so I’m going to start spreading the rumor that she has allergies and chronic sinusitis. Because I think the UN is right, in her own weird way, Amy’s glamorizing drug use and trying to make it sexy. And I guarantee you, NOTHING is less sexy than a sinus infection with allergic rhinitis. And that’s my good deed of the day.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy demonstrating the glamorous result of drug abuse. Images thanks to PR Photos. Header at her sell-out show at the Winter Gardens yesterday. Images thanks to the Daily Mail.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

On Monday we reported that Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested after drunkenly yelling at an airline employee at Dublin Airport. Meyers has a long history of alcohol abuse and has been in rehab twice in the last few years. However it seems Meyers may have been drinking for a reason and perhaps we should cut him a little slack – his mother passed away yesterday morning. The cause of death of Geraldine Meyers O’Keeffe, 50, hasn’t been disclosed; only that she died after a “short illness.”

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was photographed drinking a can of hard cider at 10 in the morning yesterday – just a few hours after his mother died.

Pictures of the 30-year-old drinking in North London were taken hours after the death of his mother at a hospital in Cork. Geri Meyers O’Keeffe, 50, who was known to have been in poor health, died at 7am at the Mercy Hospital soon after being admitted. She leaves three other sons, Jamie, Alan and Paul. The cause of death was not known last night.

Last night, members of his family at Mrs Meyers O’Keeffe’s neat bungalow in the Cork suburb of Glanmire were too distressed to talk. She had celebrated her 50th birthday last January when friends in her local pub The Riverstown Inn threw a surprise party for her. Last night regulars in the bar were stunned by the suddenness of her death. One said: “I saw her last week and she was in great form. “I know she was ill in February but she pulled through that. We just cannot believe she is gone. She was a lovely woman.

“She was extremely proud of Jonathan. She used to tell us she knew from the time he was born that he was destined for great things.” Last night Meridith O’Sullivan, Jonathan’s LA based publicist confirmed that his mother had died. She stated “I can confirm she passed away, but there are no more details tonight.”

[From the Daily Mail]

Geri Meyers-O’Keeffe was a former charity worker. She’s expected to be buried near her home in Cork on Friday. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is on “The View” right now as I’m writing this. TV Guide has it listed as new, but it must be pre-taped. Our thoughts are with him and his family.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Jonathan and Reena Hammer at MTV’s TRL on November 12, 2007. Image thanks to PR Photos. Header image of Jonathan drinking in London yesterday. Image thanks to the Daily Mail.

Source: theblemish.com

I’m not sure what thought these two pictures from GQ (4 more pictures there) are supposed to provoke. Are they designed to turn me on? Or are they more a commentary on spousal abuse? In the first picture we see Rihanna’s derriere about to be punished by a man whose emotionless expression does little to mask his obvious debilitating addiction to alcohol. In the next, we see Rihanna still madly in love with him despite his abusive nature. So much so that she even sits on his lap and holds him close to her bosom as if to say, “I know you only hurt me because you love me. Shall I fix you some pancakes?” One could also make the argument that these pictures have more to do with race relations than anything else. The white man hitting the black woman? Hmm? Anyone? Anyone at all? Wait… is she not wearing a bra? Hot damn!

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Not surprisingly, the entire Hogan family is filled with morons. Now we were never so naïve as to believe that there were ten IQ points to split between the four of them. I mean when Hulk Hogan is clearly the genius in your family, you’re probably not going to be splitting the atom anytime soon. It turns out son/drag racer/soon-to-be-prison-inmate-18293-382LQ (in my dreams) Nick Hogan gets his drag racing genes from his mom. Did you know there was a drag racing gene? Neither did I. Turns out it’s shaped like a ball of flames when you look at it under a powerful microscope. When you zoom in even closer (I realize it’s not called zooming in, but I’m not a scientist so let’s go with it) you see that it’s actually a hand giving you the middle finger. It’s the peace sign of drag racers everywhere. Anyway, the elder drag racer in the Hogan family is mom Linda Hogan. The family has publicly denounced street racing, but Florida’s ABC affiliate found a documentary DVD titled “Vehicular Lunatics.” The DVD has a bonus feature called “Street Racing With Linda Hogan.”

It was filmed at several Florida locations, including Saint Petersburg and Orlando. One “Extra” on the DVD is called “Street Racing With Linda Hogan.” At one point, Linda Bollea (Hogan) is seen alongside another car. Linda Bollea is driving a car identified as a Mercedes S600. Her daughter, Brooke is her passenger. Brooke says to the men in the adjacent car, “Wanna race?” One of the men replies, “Yeah! We love racing you! On three.” Brooke replies, “Let’s do this. Alright.” Then Linda Bollea says “Let’s kick it.” The cars take off, but their speeds are not known. Nick Bollea and his father Terry Jean, better known from his wrestling days as Hulk Hogan, are also seen in the documentary.

Two years later, 17 year old Nick is charged with felony reckless driving after a crash leaves a friend in a coma, and after Nick was pulled over four times for speeding. At one point in the documentary, his mother was asked how she feels about street racing. Her answer: “Oh, I love it. I love it. The rush, the speed on the road, stereo blasting, heart-pounding, racing in between all the cars, dodging the cops. It’s awesome.”

[From ABC Action News]

Well I hope Linda Hogan thinks it’s awesome that her son has been charged with third-degree felony reckless driving involving serious bodily injury, use of a motor vehicle in commission of a felony, operating a vehicle with a breath-alcohol level of 0.02 percent or higher while under age 21, and illegal window tint. While the video won’t affect Nick at all, it could be pretty damaging to the Hogans in a civil case.

The attorney for the mother of Nick Bollea’s [Hogan] injured passenger, 22-year old John Graziano, a Marine from Dunedin, had previously said he’s planning a civil suit against the Bolleas. We showed the documentary “Vehicular Lunatics” to Tim Prugh. He’s a civil attorney in Tampa who is not involved in the case. Prugh says the video could be damaging to the Bolleas, “Damaging enough where I would attempt to keep it out if I were defending the people that were representing Mr. Bollea. And if I represent the injured party, I want to get that into evidence to demonstrate that they were enthusiastic racers and it was in the family.”

[From ABC Action News]

This video makes me want to kick the whole family in the crotch. What kind of parents teach their children that illegal, reckless, irresponsible, and potentially deadly activities are a cool way to spend your time. From the way she was talking, Linda Hogan seems to think she’s the one who’s 19, instead of 67 or however old she is. From the looks of her I’m sticking with 67. While John Graziano is still in a coma and listed in critical condition at a hospital in Tampa, hopefully his family will be able to get a little bit of justice for him. And bankrupt the Hogans.

Source: theblemish.com

Amy Winehouse was in a pretty good mood yesterday as she continued her tour at Winter Gardens in Blackpool. She managed to not breakdown and insult her fans which is always a good sign. A lot of you may think this has to do with the mysterious cocaine-like powder up her nose, but you’d be wrong. I’ll have you know that that powder isn’t cocaine. It’s disgust. Amy Winehouse is disgusted you think she’s still an addict when she clearly told everyone she’s clean. Obviously, her disgust has transformed into a solid mass of white particles dribbling out her nose. To think she’s off the wagon is absurd. She even has her clean and sober friend Pete Doherty helping her with her addiction. There’s no way that this won’t end well.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Shakira is one of our favorite celebrities here at Celebitchy. She’s fun, she’s cute, and she donates a lot of her money and time to charities – not to mention the good publicity she brings to them. But Shakira caused a pretty big stir in Afghanistan recently, when one of her concerts was aired on a privately owned television station. One could see how Shakira’s hip-shaking might not go over so well in more conservative country. However it seems the real problem was her upper half that was the problem – and as a result Shakira’s top was covered with computer pixels. Sexy.

A hip-shaking performance by the pop star Shakira has provoked a showdown between the Afghan government and the country’s independent media. The culture ministry has been joined by senior Muslim clerics in warning the country’s largest private television station of serious consequences following the broadcast of a concert by the Colombian singer, famous among her young fans for her onstage gyrations.

The Shakira broadcast caused consternation even though she appeared with computer pixilation covering her chest. State television broadcast interviews with clerics and MPs criticizing the concert while one pro-government newspaper attacked the “notorious” broadcast of a “naked US pop singer and dancer” claiming it provided inspiration to suicide bombers.

“We believe Shakira’s song will be shown with Tolo TV’s exclusive logo at the training camps for suicide attackers to urge our immature young people to leave a number of our mothers bereaved,” said the Weesa newspaper. But the owner of Tolo TV, Saad Mohseni, who grew up in Australia, said: “This was not that provocative and Shakira was pixilated. The government are looking for an excuse to have a go at us.

[From the Telegraph]

Afghanistan’s media isn’t as restrictive as it used to be since the Taliban government lost control in 2001, however it is still very conservative, and could become even more so. New legislation is pending (and likely will be signed into law) that will give the government expanded rights to censor broadcasts they deem offensive to the country. I’m mildly surprised that someone would broadcast a Shakira concert there in the first place. I mean she’s cute as a button, but she’s not exactly known for covering up. And the hip shaking is impressive, but certainly not subtle. You’re not left wondering what it is she’s up to.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Shakira in concert during her “Oral Fixation” tour. Hmmm. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

The Enquirer features the headline “Angelina Loses Baby!” this week with a picture of her concave belly on the cover, which suggests to the quick-glancing supermarket patron that she suffered a miscarriage of the tabloid-conceived baby we all were crossing our fingers for last month. Inside the issue the Enquirer comes up with not one but two lost babies to back up their single-baby claim.

The baby they first say Angelina lost was a little girl she wanted to adopt from Ethiopia. That might be true, I give it about a 25% chance of being based on anything more than the writer’s imagination. Then The Enquirer pushes it by saying she also “believes she suffered a miscarriage” according to “insiders,” meaning she lost two babies, not one. The article confuses me a little considering there’s only one lost baby in the title, and I have to conclude it refers more to the baby that we all had worked up in our imaginations rather than any specific one, adopted or biological:

[Angelina Jolie] is devastated over losing the baby she had her heart set on adopting – and to make matters worse, insiders say she believes she also suffered a miscarriage. [emphasis added]

The 32-year-old beauty was overjoyed when she learned she was getting another little sister for daughter Zahara, say sources

But [Angelina] was crushed when African adoption authorities turned down her request for a second Ethiopian baby, revealed a friend…

The heartbreaking news came right after another shock for the golden couple – the torment of miscarriage, said the friend.

“Angelina thought she was pregnant. She was feeling dizzy and tired and nauseous, just like she was with her baby Shiloh. Both she and brad were ecstatic at first, but they she started menstruating much heavier than normal and was in a lot of pain. Ultimately, they believe she miscarried.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 26, 2007]

Note how carefully they word the miscarriage claim, not saying that someone claims she lost a baby, but that an “insider” says she believes she suffered a miscarriage, with vague physical symptoms the only supposed proof that she might have been pregnant. The lost adopted baby claim is supported not by some official in Ethiopia, but also according to an unnamed friend, so it’s suspect as well. Poor Angelina, losing all these babies we invented for her.

Meanwhile Angelina’s nearly two year old daughter from Ethiopia, Zahara, had her biological mother and grandmother come out of the woodwork this week. It was thought that Zahara’s mom was no longer living, but her grandmother disputes making that claim, saying she always maintained her daughter ran away. We heard from Zahara’s grandmother that little Zahara was conceived when her mother was raped, and Zahara’s mom, Mentwabe Dawit, spoke to the press, telling the harrowing story of how she was raped at knifepoint while walking home from work, which resulted in her pregnancy with Zahara. She says that she left her newborn daughter, who she named Yemsrach, which means good news in Amharic, in the care of her mother when she was no longer able to feed her. She thought that Zahara was dying and didn’t want to have to be there to witness her baby die. Dawit also says she does not want Zahara back and that she “is a very fortunate human being to be adopted by a world famous lady.”

Zahara’s mom looks a lot like her, you can see Zahara’s nose and mouth in her features. I hope she has found peace after going through such a terrible ordeal. She will certainly be able to see plenty of pictures of her daughter if she is able to read the international press or get to a computer.