Source: theblemish.com

Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen showed up at the premiere of their new thriller, Awake, yesterday where they stood there and had their pictures taken. Being a celebrity is hard work. If you’re dying to know what Awake is about, then look no further. I have taken this excerpt from IMDB in an effort to save you time. You may repay me with cookies or ice cream or cookies crumbled on top of ice cream, but don’t even think about giving me a cookie with ice cream on top. That’s gross.

The story focuses on a man (Christensen) who suffers “Anesthetic Awareness” (An occurrence where during surgery where not enough anesthetic medication for the patient’s body weight), and finds himself awake and aware, but paralyzed, during heart surgery. His wife (Alba) must wrestle with her own demons as a drama unfolds around them

I hope “wrestling with her own demons” means nude pudding wrestling. If that’s the case, Hayden Christensen could be punching me in the nuts the entire length of the film and I would still walk out of the theater with a bruised boner proclaiming this to be the greatest movie since Citizen Kane. You may think I say this about every movie that gives me an erection, but that’s just not true. I thought Garfield sucked.

Source: theblemish.com

Yesterday,  The Lost Ogle reported that Jessica Alba went on a “Save the Great White Shark” binge and plastered posters all over public property in Downtown Oklahoma City where she was …

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Jessica Alba was pulled over in Santa Monica last Friday. She accepted her ticket with nary an objection. Yet, she still sounded a little conceited. When she got the ticket, she asked the officer, …

Source: theblemish.com

Jessica Alba gave birth to a baby girl last June. Now she wants another one. According to the National Enquirer:
“Jessica and Cash are working overtime to get pregnant. She and Cash are boasting …

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So, Jessica Alba really isn’t a humorless alien sent from another planet to seduce and enslave mankind? Consider my reality shattered.

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Source: theblemish.com

Respect!

Over the weekend, Jessica Alba’s kid felt her up while she was being carried around Brentwood. It was depressing. I’ve been trying to do this for six years and this kid does it …

Source: theblemish.com

Jessica Alba is either:
A) Getting the world’s greatest massage
B) Having her soul sucked out of her body
C) Attempting to seduce me
Choose wisely. This counts for 50% of your grade. Write-in
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Source: theblemish.com

These photos of Jessica Alba at the park with her daughter Honor Marie are proof positive that she’s into anal. That little bow tattooed above her ass is like a perennially wrapped Christmas
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You may or may not remember that video from last week in D.C. where Alba told a reporter to “be Sweden, be neutral about it,” when asking him about …

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At the Declare Yourself event in Washington, D.C., The O’Reilly Factor asked Jessica Alba is she had a shout-out for the show’s host, Bill O’Reilly. …

Source: theblemish.com

The funny thing with these bang haircuts is that Suri Cruise has been rocking almost the same style for the past year. Suri wants to know where her props are.

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