Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Like, do I focus on the penis or the joint here?

I just don’t know, you guys.

My life is so hard.

Well, semi-hard.

Kind of like Pauly Shore.

(I guess I made my decision.)

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Ten-year-old Payton Spencer walks the “green” carpet at the Broadway premiere of How The Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical this weekend.

Right now, you know her from What About Brian.

In ten years, you’ll know her from her drunken exploits at New Hyde and her on-and-off affair with a Greek shipping heir. Eh, let’s be honest. Probably Stavros Niarchos.

Yay!

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

The producers of The Hills finally seem to realize that Heidi Montag is BORING and ANNOYING, and we’re at last getting storylines revolving around the much cooler Whitney Port.

As a result, she’s becoming a star in her own right.

Here she is hosting at Mansion in Miami Beach.

Rock on, Whitney. Please don’t start sucking, okay?

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Paris Hilton’s still tearin’ up Korea.

She looks exhausted at this press conference.

Partying or jet lag? It’s anyone’s guess.

Hey, at least she showed up. Gotta give her some credit for that.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Elizabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a son yesterday morning in Arizona. Apparently the baby came out wrapped in an American flag and a “Bush Forever” bumper sticker on his butt. No word of if that was meant as a political statement or some type of celebration of his birth canal journey.

Tim and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are the proud new parents of a boy, ABC.com reports. The View cohost gave birth to a 7-lb. 15-oz. boy Friday morning at an Arizona hospital. Hasselbeck plans to call into the show Monday to announce her son’s name. The baby joins big sister Grace, who is 2.

“We’re thrilled he arrived safely,” Tim Hasselbeck said in a statement. “Both mom and son are happy and healthy. The View cohost, 30, and her NFL quarterback husband, 29, moved to Arizona in October, after he signed a contract with the Arizona Cardinals.

The move brought early maternity leave for Elisabeth, who has pledged to return to the ABC morning talk show. When she had Grace, she took a total of six weeks off.

[From People]

In other news, the baby has already issued a statement saying that he’s pro-war, pro-life, and anti-Rosie O’Donnell. But then he found out the she sent him this lovely Lulla Smith white silk Moses basket for $290 from Petit Trésor and all was forgiven. Because let’s be honest, he’s a baby – and already a fanatical Republican one would assume – but he’s also the child of a celebrity, which means all things can be glossed over with various forms of swag.

Just four days before she gave birth, Elizabeth launched a baby blog on Dreft’s website. Dreft being that expensive, unscented detergent that’s supposed to be really good for babies but is pretty much the same thing as the $1.39 unscented detergent Target sells. Yeah I don’t really know why either. Something makes me doubt she’ll be competing with Rosie’s blog and publishing a lot of confusing haikus. Instead, she’ll pimp her baby for what I’m guessing is a little cash and a lot of free detergent.

Elisabeth promises “12 personal stories recounting her experiences and emotions both before and after the birth of her second child, due later this month, along with photos of the new baby.” The first entry on the sponsored blog includes a (surprise!) reference to the thrill of providing clean sheets for her two-year-old daughter:

Then came the irrational pregnant woman impulses of ordering twin sheets online for her new bed like mad! Everyday a package of bedding supplies would come. This past week, her new bed arrived bit-by-bit… first the mattress—then the bed! We washed it all and got it ready like a big present for her when she came home after a class. When she walked into the room she said: “OH MY GOODNESS!!!” and ran into it.

[From E! News]

Wow. Well I’m sure it’s all written from the heart… and by heart, I mean Dreft’s PR team. Congrats to the happy parents. I will send you some American flag bibs, pronto.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

There are a lot of things I would trust Arnold Schwarzenegger to do, and do well. I would trust him to snap a pencil in half with his thumb. I would trust him to snap a third-grader in half with his thumb. And for some reason, I would trust him to catch a bullet with his teeth, because something tells me he’s awesomely coordinated like that. I would not, however, trust him in the finer points of contract negotiations, anything involving money or numbers in general, and anything getting a ton of press. But Arnold is a little slicker than I thought – not only is he trying to mediate the dispute between the Writer’s Guild and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, but he’s trying to do it quietly behind the scenes. He’s a better politician than I thought.

In talks unbeknown to even his top aides, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has spoken to representatives on both sides in this week’s Writers Guild of America strike against the studios and networks. Schwarzenegger, whose lengthy, successful career in the film business before coming into office in 2003 gives him a certain cachet in the matter, has been speaking with WGA members as well as studio execs heading the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers.

In addition to his own words of advice, the governor has had staff members reach out to both sides, as well as to the federal mediator trying to get them to hammer out a deal about future residuals and other issues. “We’re interested in helping both sides resolve this issue any way we can,” says a member of Schwarzenegger’s team. With the federal mediator involved, there is not much sway the governor has over actual negotiations, however.

[From Politico.com]

Arnold actually makes a lot of sense as a negotiator, in terms of his history. I wouldn’t exactly call him a skilled politician, but once in a while he’ll do something really impressive and surprise me. I wouldn’t rule him out. There really hasn’t been any good news coming out about negotiations – all we’re really hearing is that more and more people are joining the strike. The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers is being pretty quiet. Something tells me we’ll be re-watching old episodes of Seinfeld for a good chunk of 2008.

Source: theblemish.com

Still can’t get over the utterly boneheaded remarks of Dog Chapman? Turn on any channel and you’re bound to see his visits to the talk shows. One question. You know you’re gonna be on tv. Might you want to, oh I don’t know, hire a stylist?? The open shirt, the gold chains, the mullet. No, no and a resounding no. It’s the Miami Vice look set in Mississippi. Stevie Wonder could dress better than you. Oh snap, you’re not gonna hate on Little Stevie are you??

According to Reuters:

“Honolulu-based Chapman, 54, who says he is a devout Christian, made no comment on reports that his son sold the tape for $15,000.”

That’s all?!? That won’t last long. Do you know the cost of living in Hawaii?

Props to Dog though. He hates his son’s girlfriend, his son sold him out for peanuts, yet according to Dog:

“All I want him to know is that I love him very much.”

After which, he added: “Even if he is an Uncle Tom.” - CS

Source: theblemish.com

Shocking revelations from People! Tori Spelling has admitted to repeated verbal abuse of her child.

“We call him monkey,” Spelling told PEOPLE about her 8-month-old. “We started to call him that when he was little. I was like, ‘Well, you are a little monkey!’ And then it just stuck. He actually responds to the name monkey more than Liam.”

Child protective services have not been made aware. Hopefully, this post will give the authorities adequate notification of this abhorrent celebrity behavior.

Tori continues her despicable remarks:

“He also tries to make everyone laugh. So if he does something and you laugh, he stops and looks at you and then keeps doing it. He totally gets it and it’s really funny!”

Uh huh.. Sounds like Liam the monkey is crying out for help. Those aren’t routines he’s performing. He’s trying to give extraction instructions to anyone who’ll listen. Sadly, they come out as “Goo goo ga ga.. yeek!” Jane Goodall, where are you? Another monkey needs your help! - CS

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Jay Leno is one of many entertainers who is refusing to cross picket lines while the Writer’s Guild is on strike. NBC has essentially stated that if Leno doesn’t cross the lines and return to work, they will lay off the rest of the “Tonight Show” non-writing staff. NBC making it clear that they’re more than willing to save some money by firing long-time employees that have nothing to do with the strike. It also seems like they’re doing some really dirty dealing and putting completely unethical pressure on Leno to return to work to save his staff’s jobs. The other alternative is for the “Tonight Show” to use guest hosts – certainly there are entertainers out there that are willing to cross the lines. NBC has also said the same thing to Conan O’Brian’s staff.

NBC informed the nonwriting staff of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno that it will be laid off at the end of next week in the wake of the show shutting down for the writers’ strike. And with Leno still refusing to cross the picket line, the show is looking at coming back on the air Nov. 19 with guest hosts so that it can save the jobs of the nonwriters. “All sorts of things are being discussed, including guest hosts,” Tonight Show executive producer Debbie Vickers said. “Our preference is that we return to production of The Tonight Show with Jay as host as soon as possible.”

But Vickers also wants to save the jobs of her nonwriting staffers. “We want to protect the staff, who have been loyal to this show for decades, in the same way that Johnny Carson reluctantly returned without his writers in 1988,” she said. Late-night shows have gone into repeats since the strike began Monday as the hosts walked out in solidarity with their writing staffs. With the shows shut down, networks can cut costs by laying off most of the rest of the staff.

And Leno’s chief writer doesn’t expect Leno back anytime soon. “I talk to Jay every day, and he will not be the first [late-night host] to cross the picket line,” said Tonight Show head writer Joe Medeiros, also a strike captain for the Writers Guild of America. “So they are looking at guest hosts as one possibility so all those people don’t have to lose their jobs.”

[From Broadcasting & Cable]

That is really low of NBC. CBS and FOX have both tried to put similar pressure on many of their employees, by telling people that are producers/writers that they still have to honor their producing contracts and go to work each day, despite the strike. Since most of those people started as writers, they have a lot of sympathy for them – and most of them are still members of the Writer’s Guild and can’t work during the strike. So they’re between a rock and a hard place.

I’ve heard a lot about all the things the writers are doing, all the talent that’s lining up behind them, and how long the strike will likely go on. What I haven’t heard much about are the entertainment execs that should be sweating bullets and giving in to their more than reasonable demands.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

I have such a primal dislike for Tom Cruise as a person that I’ve generally refused to see most of his movies, and it turns out I’ve been missing out on a pretty decent actor. I’m not really good at separating the things I hear about someone famous from the work they do. So when I sat through Jerry Maguire, part of me was always thinking “You’re a midget control freak!” And most of Vanilla Sky was actually comprised of my inner monologue on loop, saying, “You believe in an alien god and think half your cast mates are Thetans.” But then I saw Minority Report and Magnolia and realized I should learn to ignore all the crazy that is Tom Cruise for the sake of two hours of entertainment. So with the caveat that I’m no Tom Cruise expert, I have to say that the trailer for his newest movie, Valkyrie, looks pretty good. Some of his clips come off as a bit over-acted, but I’m under the impression that that’s his thing.

Here’s a brief synopsis of the film:

During World War II, the German Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Cruise) is severely wounded in Africa and returns home to Nazi Germany. Stauffenberg helps conceive Operation Valkyrie, a plan to implement a shadow government in the event of the death of Germany’s Nazi Führer Adolf Hitler. The Colonel eventually joins the German Resistance and becomes part of the July 20 Plot, a conspiracy to assassinate Hitler and execute Valkyrie in order to take control of the country and make peace with the Allies. Stauffenberg finds himself taking on not only the responsibility of leading the coup, but also the task to assassinate Hitler himself.

[From Wikipedia]

Here’s the trailer – I think it looks pretty interesting, but I’ll see just about any historical movie and love it.