Source: www.celebitchy.com

I think I’m one of the only people around that isn’t skeptical about Jake Gyllenhaal’s sexuality; but then again I’m adorably naive that way. Just because he hangs out with a lot of men? Don’t most guys have a lot of guy friends? Okay he does have an affinity for bicycle shorts, but it’s not like he wears them to dinner or anything. That I know of. I don’t think their romance is manufactured, but I do find it odd that they appeared to go to great lengths to hide it, and then all of a sudden went public when their movie came out. Massively coincidental, but whatever. From what’s reported about Reese and Jake, they both seem like pretty similar personalities: nice if a bit “Type A.”

Jake supposedly really wants to be a dad and loves Reese’s kids. During those initial rumblings of a relationship several months ago, I remember reading that he was actually being a bit too parental towards Reese’s kids. But they seem to have established some sort of relationship that works: the two of them took her kids trick or treating last night, and seem to have a cute (almost too cute) relationship with her kids.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon had another PDA-packed public date Wednesday, taking Witherspoon’s two children, Ava, 8, and Deacon, 4, trick or treating in L.A.’s Brentwood neighborhood. Witherspoon, 31, dressed as a witch; Gyllenhaal, 26, an ape. “They were holding hands and swinging them in the air as they walked around the neighborhood,” adds a witness, who says Gyllenhaal often lifted up his gorilla mask to smooch his Rendition co-star. “Reese was laughing at everything Jake was saying.”

As Ava (also in witch wardrobe) and Deacon (dressed as a super hero) ran up to every door for treats, “Reese and Jake waited on the sidewalk and flirted,” the onlooker tells Usmagazine.com. They even started to act like a pair of giddy kids themselves. “Jake tapped Reese on the butt and then she hit him back — they began running a circle hitting each other!” the witness says. “Then Jake picked Reese up off her feet and she screamed.”

Gyllenhaal seemed to play it cool during his first public outing with Witherspoon’s children. “Jake ran up to Deacon with the gorilla mask and pretended to scare him!” the onlooker says. “Deacon laughed.” He also had a few sc

ares for Witherspoon. Adds the witness, “Sometimes he came up from behind and nuzzled his big hairy mask into her neck.”
[From US Weekly]

Ahh, I remember the first time a guy came up from behind me and nuzzled his big hairy… wait, no. Never mind. It’ll be interesting to see if this all pans out. The story seems a little contrived, but it’s hard to tell if that’s just due to the “family friendly” writing style, or if it really was a little hackneyed. They do seem a little too perfectly arranged, but people have said that about both of them seperately for years, so it makes sense that it would apply to them as a couple, too.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Reese on “Ellen” last week where she showed a picture of her Halloween costume from last year. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Source: theblemish.com

Guitarist Scott Kohler told The Sun that Britney invited him and 10 other people to her Hollywood mansion on Oct 19. They were all in the jacuzzi with Britney downing vodka when someone joked they wanted to snort coke off Britney’s chest and she let him. Kohler claims Britney snorted too, but he’s probably wrong since Britney passed a court ordered drug test the next day.

Her bizarre behavior continued yesterday when Britney called into the Ryan Seacrest Show (audio available there). Britney rambled on about everything and nothing and talked about eating fried chicken. Maybe you can better decipher it.

“It’s sad how people, how cruel our world can be,” she said. “But at the end of the day you gotta to know in your heart that you are doing the best that you can.”

Perhaps it hasn’t sunk in yet. When Seacrest asked Spears how often she gets to see her kids, she answered, “That’s all in the courts. My lawyers know all that stuff.”

Asked which track was most meaningful to her, Spears said, “I really like ‘Heaven on Earth.’ It think it’s a cool track.”

She said she did nothing special to celebrate the album’s release. The big day “was kind of laid-back, really,” she said, adding, “We watched movies” (she couldn’t remember which movies) and “we had fried chicken.”

Seacrest decided to move from career and children to Spears’ personal life, but that line of questioning didn’t get too far. Asked if she was romantically involved with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, Brit asked, “Who?”

This. The best part is when Britney leaves in the middle of the interview to go shower and also when Ryan asks Britney about her kids and everyone starts laughing. Kids? Hilarious. Why don’t you move on to a more important question, Ryan, like what kind of fried chicken Britney was eating and what side orders she got. I bet it was mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Fatties love taters.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

I love the way Stephen Colbert takes jokes way too far. There was the time he claimed that African elephants were no longer endangered and expanded in number to three times their previous population in just six months. As a result, so many changes had been posted to Wikipedia that they had to block access to both the “elephant” and “Stephen Colbert” articles. He’s more the willing to take his humor beyond his show and mess with the everyday as well. I think all is fair in love and humor, but even I’m a little surprised that Colbert is actually trying to get his name on the South Carolina primary ballot – because I’m presuming it’s all for a joke. That’s a really, really involved joke – but if you’re really committed to it, I guess you have to take it all the way.

It’s no joke: Stephen Colbert really is running for president. The mock conservative pundit, 43, is expected to file paperwork Thursday to enter South Carolina’s Democratic primary, CNN reports. Colbert announced his bid October 16, declaring on his Comedy Central show The Colbert Report that he would run as both a Democrat and Republican so “I can lose twice.” Perhaps price made him change his mind? The fee to get on the GOP ballot is $35,000. (Colbert only has to cough up $2,500 — or get 3,000 signatures — to get on the Democrat ballot.)

But Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton shouldn’t start worrying just yet: South Carolina Democratic officials will meet Thursday to determine whether Colbert is “nationally viable” and has spent enough time campaigning in his home state before putting him on the ballot, according to CNN.

[From Us Weekly]

Something tells me Colbert won’t be deemed “nationally viable” – though I’m pretty sure he could take a chunk of votes away from other Democrats and really mess with the polls. It’ll probably make for some good clips on his show, though I would have found it much more amusing to mess with the Republicans. Does anyone else find it telling that you have to pony up $35,000 to run as a Republican, but only $2,500 (or 3,000 signatures) to run as a Democrat? You’d think that, if nothing else, Comedy Central could have dug the money up. Colbert vs. Obama? Mildly amusing. Colbert vs. Giuliani? Now that’s funny.

Update by JayBird: Lifeline Live just reported: “South Carolina Democrats don’t think Stephen Colbert’s presidential bid is all that funny. Colbert filed to get on the ballot as a Democratic candidate in his native South Carolina. His campaign paid a $2,500 filing fee just before the noon deadline today, but after about 40 minutes of discussion by top party officials, the executive council voted 13-3 to keep the host of The Colbert Report off the ballot. “He’s really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers so he can further a comedy routine,” said Waring Howe, a member of the executive council. He will be able to get his money back.”

Source: theblemish.com

Adult film star Tera Patrick dressed up as an adult film star for Halloween and here she is doing something sexually suggestive. How shocking!

There should be a rule that if you’re a porn star, you’re not allowed to dress like a porn star on Halloween. You have to dress up as something completely out of character. A muffin maybe or a donut or something as equally delicious. A crêpe?

Source: theblemish.com

Here’s Petra Nemcova dressed as Cleopatra yesterday. Did you know Cleopatra was responsible for Egypt being conquered by Rome? How you ask? Well, the Egyptian soldiers couldn’t mount any sort of defense because they were all too busy whacking off to a papyrus drawing of her in their bathrooms. I read that somewhere. Possibly in a book. Consider yourself educated.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

The Britney ban has been lifted, but we’ve vowed not to get carried away and report on her every little misadventure: “Britney goes to the deli!” “Britney forgets to wear shoes!” “Britney swats fly off arm!” “Britney goes to the deli and forgets to wear shoes and swats a fly off her arm!” But we will occasionally write about her – never more than once a day, with a goal of three times a week max. I have to admit to have a slight BS infatuation: such a public downward spiral is a bit addictive to watch. Plus you have to think back on when she was “normal” and ask yourself if she’s always been this crass and crazy (remember when she called everyone ma’am?) or did it just kick in a few years ago? These are the questions that keep me up at night. So with that caveat: our one Britney story of the week.

Britney Spears invited a man to snort cocaine off her chest during a wild party at her Hollywood mansion just two days after losing visitation rights to see her sons, it has been reported. Scott Kohler, 29, claims he and a group of 10 other strangers were invited to join Spears for a night of heavy partying on October 19, when the troubled star drowned her sorrows with vodka and cavorted with the men in her jacuzzi. And musician Kohler alleges the 25-year-old singer accepted an offer of cocaine from a fellow partygoer, after he “joked he wanted to do a line off (Spears’) chest, and she agreed”, reports British newspaper The Sun.

Kohler adds, “(Spears) was in a great mood. She didn’t have a care in the world.” The latest revelations will be a blow to Spears as she fights her ex-husband Kevin Federline for custody of two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James. She has since won back visitation rights to see her two boys three times a week, but must comply with an earlier court order to undergo mandatory drug and alcohol tests and well as attend joint parenting sessions with dancer Federline. The former couple’s next custody hearing is set for November 26.

[From Starpulse]

Well I guess that explains more of Spears’ “Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, F**k it” comment to reporters last week, when asked how her case was going. I’m pretty sure that she tends to do all of those things at least twice an hour. Sometimes if she doesn’t have any cocaine or a guy around, she has to substitute one for the other, but Britney Spears is nothing if not industrious, right?

In other related news, Brit’s new album is actually getting some pretty good reviews, and is expected to perform decently, considering she won’t be doing any promotion for it. But she can use the CD to snort her cocaine from.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Britney driving home from a Halloween party at Park Beverly estates with her two sons Jayden James, Sean Preston and a friend. She appears to have attended at least three separate parties: Splash noted:. When Britney left the party an hour later her youngest son Jayden James looks quite visibly upset in the back seat of her car. Header image of Britney arriving at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in Hollywood. There was also a third party where she donned a sombrero and harlequin mask. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton went to the Halloween party at LAX dressed up like a slutty soldier with colored contacts. To anyone who thinks Paris Hilton is hot, check these pictures out. I can see why Rick Solomon shot most of that sex tape in the dark. Oh, and sorry for plastering Paris Hilton’s mug on your screen. Halloween was yesterday, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be scared.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, snowboarder Riley Giles, who is either 24 or 25 depending on who you believe, has a rap sheet that rivals careless Lindsays. He was on probation in Utah for forging a Xanax prescription, and was arrested for DUI in Vegas in May of this year. Since Giles failed to tell his Utah probation officer that he was busted for DUI in another state he could be facing jail time. What’s more is that his then-fiance, Breanna Tierney, was injured in the accident that got him arrested for DUI and that makes it more jail-worthy:

“Riley failed to inform his Utah probation officer about his felony arrest in Las Vegas,” confirmed an insider at the Third District Court in Utah.

“It was brought to our attention after The Enquirer article came out last week. In the state of Utah, DWI with an accident automatically enhances the charges. We also understand that a passenger was involved and injured, and if that’s true, the judge could send Mr. Giles to jail.

“I’ve seen probation violations far less than Mr. Giles’ offenses result in jail time.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 5, 2007]

I love when celebrities date no-name people who are con artists and/or have serious legal trouble. It brings a fresh wind of gossip to the otherwise limited and stale field of celebrity fuck ups.

Lindsay is legally obligated to serve just one day in jail by January 18, 2008, to pay her debt to society for the dangerous drunken car chase she undertook just months after another drunken car crash. Maybe she’ll lose her rehab boyfriend to jail since she doesn’t have to serve adequate time for her offenses. It only seems fitting, but will undoubtedly be far less painful to Lindsay than having to do the time herself.

Here’s Lohan and Giles not looking drunk or high or anything last night at Il Sole. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum held her own Halloween party yesterday and you can tell she lives for this stuff. Last year it was a snake eating an apple. This year it was a full on kitty. Meanwhile, I dressed up as a dog and tried to hump her, but apparently dogs don’t hump cats. Plus, security doesn’t look too kindly on people with a dead dog draped over their shoulders. Another fine example of the man stifling my creativity. Damn the man.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Paris Hilton gave a red carpet interview before her Halloween party at LAX last night and said that her super-short army fatigue dress was in honor of our troops. She said “I’m wearing this for the troops because I know they’re having a hard time right now and don’t really get to celebrate Halloween.” It looks like she’s doing that charity work she mentioned on Larry King Live back when she got out of jail.

At least she gave a shout out to the troops serving in Iraq.

Maybe every time Paris wears a slutty outfit she can come up with a creative charitable reason. Like she’s wearing a bikini in honor of the poor refugees who don’t have clothing. That way, she can continue to wear skimpy outfits while promoting various vaguely related causes.

Speaking of Paris and charity in the same breath, her Rwanda trip hasn’t been canceled, just postponed. She told Extra that the trip will be next year. In the mean time all she has to do is continue dressing like a slut and she can feel content that she’s helping save the world.

Update: Paris dressed as a prisoner later that night and said it was in honor of the disproportionate number of minorities incarcerated in the US. Ok, I made that second part up.

Thanks to WENN for these pictures.