Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Oh wait, except she totally doesn’t.

Every picture I’ve come across of her since she won ANTM just sucks.

Seriously, this chick makes Vincent Pastore look like a supermodel.

Also: Rachel Hunter is a tragedy.

I’m not even going to tell you guys what event this is, because it’s the stupidest thing ever, and I can’t even believe they got a celebrity of Caridee’s status to attend. This is definitely the kind of event where you have your fingers crossed for some contestant from Average Joe to show up. I’ll give you a hint: the words “Meow Mix” and “Acatemy” are used.

WHERE IS JASLENE?

I haven’t seen pics of her in ages, so I hope that means she’s in some manner of eating disorder rehab facility. Ooh, maybe she’s at Cirque Lodge bonding with Lindsay Lohan. That’s where Mary-Kate Olsen went to have her cocaine addiction eating disorder treated. Jaslene Gonzalez makes Mary-Kate Olsen look like a compulsive over-eater.

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Seriously, for a “top model,” this girl does not photograph well.
ANTM winner Caridee English walks the red carpet at the launch party for the new Blackberry Pearl.
Has she put on weight?
…

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

The America’s Next Top Model winner showed up at the Grand Opening of Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club At The Palazzo Hotel in Vegas last night.
She looks like she’s going to prom!
Pregnant!!!
This …

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Oh wait, except she totally doesn’t.
Every picture I’ve come across of her since she won ANTM just sucks.
Seriously, this chick makes Vincent Pastore look like …

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Just in case America’s Next Top Model, The Agency, Models NYC and 8th and Ocean had left any glimmer of mystery about the world of high-fashion modeling, ANTM winner CariDee …

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

ANTM winner Caridee English and Ashlee Simpson both look like they really have to pee at the opening of the Runway lounge in NYC.
Also, Cari, nice colored contacts. Even …