Archive for April, 2007

Roseanne might replace Rosie

Source: theblemish.com

Roseanne Bar

After Rosie O’Donnell announced her departure from The View, Roseanne Bar is rumored to be the top choice to replace her.

Among them are Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathie Lee Gifford and Connie Chung. Out of all of them, Roseanne seems to be the best fit.

“It’s going to be hard for them to follow Rosie,” says an industry insider. “Roseanne could be the only one capable of pulling it off.”

They’re replacing a bear with a hungrier bear. This time no one is safe. Not the muffins, not the cinnamon rolls and especially not the donuts. Uh oh, you guys sure picked a bad time to glaze yourselves. Beware the bear!

Published on April 30th, 2007 in Roseanne Bar, Rosie O'Donnell
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Britney Spears is fashionable

Source: theblemish.com

Britney Spears

Britney Spears went shopping over the weekend dressed like a cowgirl hooker. It looks like a fisherman threw a net over her and she was too lazy to take it off so she just cut a dress out of it. Stupid fisherman. Why didn’t you just throw her back in?

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Victoria Beckham’s nipples burst through anything

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham was at LAX vying for attention again. You can actually see a bra beneath the most transparent shirt ever. And that’s weird because her nipples are still visible. At this point, I’m not sure her boobs are even real. I think they might be, gasp, fake. I’m also frightened at what her nipples would do in really cold weather. Would they rip through her bra and shirt ala Bruce Banner transforming into The Incredible Hulk? Our nation’s leading booby inspector seems to think so. By the way, that’s me. So ladies, don’t freak out when I start squeezing your breasts. I’m certified. These might be NSFW.

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Why is This Person Considered Attractive?

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I mean, it was sort of cool back when the Black Eyed Peas wanted to get famous off of her but now it’s just getting redonk. This is not an attractive woman. At all. Let’s stop living a lie.

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Mischa’s Keds are at the Cleaners

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I know we’ve been following the “Mischa Barton + Keds = True Love” story pretty hard so here’s the latest breaking news.

In this picture I believe she is wearing normal (acceptable) footwear. I could be off the mark here, as I don’t really know the whole Keds line. If I’m wrong I’ll take a comment ding. But if I’m right I want it known that I nailed her first.

Put your Keds back on! And eat something.

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Next up, Adam Brody, Elisha Cuthbert, and Amber Tamblyn. These guys all look hot in their own little way, no? Brody is rocking a full fledged adult male thing and somehow the slightly stoned vibe makes Elisha work for me. Plus I’m a sucker for redheads (Amber Tamblyn).

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It should be noted that all these, again, are from the Coachella event. The fact checker (whom I’m on the phone with now) tells me that this event is in Indio, California and features music acts. There seems to be a charity angle as well. So all you guys near Indio (home of the Indio High Rajahs) hustle on down to see both music and Scarlett’s cow legs.

Well Hello to You Too, Victoria

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

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Posh lands at LAX. She’s reportedly here to begin decorating the $20MM mansion she and Becks bought in Beverly Hills. But, hey, they can afford it. With headlights like that, they’re going to save a ton on electricity.

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Are They Really Going to Send Prince Harry to Iraq?

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

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It looks like they might. His regiment is due to begin a six-month tour of duty in Iraq within weeks. If deployed, Harry would be the first royal to serve in a war zone since his uncle, Prince Andrew, flew as a helicopter pilot in the Falklands conflict with Argentina in 1982 (remember that?). Although the final decision about what exactly Harry will be doing won’t be made for a few days, the prince had a huge farewell party in London on Friday night, and gave a moving speech:

I’m prepared to do anything they throw at me … Whether I serve on the front line or carry out a desk job in Basra I just want to get out to Iraq and serve my country. I’ll be honoured to serve as best I can — whatever I do. I have to listen to the orders of my commanding officers. Sadly, it’s out of my hands. I’m proud of the men I’ve trained with over the last few months but I have to respect that they need to be safe as well. It’s a great, great feeling to go to Iraq. I don’t know what to expect. I’m nervous, excited and apprehensive …and I’m really looking forward to it. I just want to get out there and do it.

It is wonderful that he wants to serve his country, but, as Harry himself alludes to in his speech, his presence endangers the other troops. According the News of the World:

Terror leader Abu Mujtaba, commander of a 50-strong unit of Iraqi insurgents, has chillingly piled on the pressure. He said: “One of our aims is to capture Harry. We have people inside the British bases to inform us on when he will arrive.

“We have a special unit that would work to track him down. Not only us, but every person who hates the British and the Americans will try to get him — all the mujahideens, al-Qaeda and the Iranians will try.

“For me he is just a British soldier and he should be killed if he comes to Iraq. But let’s be realistic, we can kill hundreds of British soldiers before forcing them to withdraw — but Harry is a bigger catch and we will force the British to come on their knees and talk to us.”

Now, seriously, who is this terrorist leader giving quotes to News of the World? I’m not saying the terrorists aren’t thinking this, but I just can’t believe there’s a terrorist sitting in an office building somewhere with a secretary like, “Um, Mr. Mujtaba, News of the World is on line two. They’re looking for a pull quote on this Prince Harry thing. Shall I put them through once you’re done with Osama?”

The newly single Wills showed up at the party and, while Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy left around 1 a.m., Wills closed the place down, apparently being quite the ladies man.

Both the royal family and the U.K. are concerned for Harry’s safety in Iraq. Sigh. This is just like when they drafted Conrad Birdie.

Rob Schneider Might Want to Work the Red Carpet by Himself in the Future

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

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With Emmy Rossum at the Giffoni Hollywood Festival Awards. Emmy looks stunning. Rob looks … um … short.

Angelina Jolie has anorexia, National Enquirer claims

Angelina Jolie has anorexia, National Enquirer claims



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