Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

“See, when I do this thing with my hands, it means I’m hardcore. Get it? I’m a total rebel. Fighting the man, man. You can tell by my hands. You should buy my album, particularly if you’re a suburban youth who feels most comfortable railing against the prevailing, suffocating social norms by purchasing alt-pop music on iTunes and positioning your hands just so.”

At her CD release party Tuesday in NYC.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: it’s country night here on American Idol. Ryan’s dressed for the occasion by wearing — what else? — purple. The mentor for this week is Kellie Pickler. Oh, no, that’s only in my fantasies. (Or an SNL sketch? Lorne Michaels, call me.) It’s actually Martina McBride, who is one of those rare country artists I really like. We cut to Martina McBride in a studio, leading our remaining seven idols in what I would guess is the worst rendition of “Independence Day” you’ll come across outside of your local sorority’s body-shot/sing-along night.

Phil Stacey’s up first. Singing “Where the Blacktop Ends” by Keith Urban. We cut to this weird shot of Phil and Martina in the studio, and I think they’re talking as the director motions for them to hit their mark by the piano, so they both seem really distracted, and Martina’s asking Phil about Kansas as she walks backwards, so it seems like he’s cornering her. I have no idea why they used that shot. Phil is — thank God — not wearing his Oliver! cap tonight, and looks respectably country-cool in black pants and a black shirt with only a hint of shiny stripes. He does seem comfortable on stage tonight, and he’s walking through the audience giving people high-fives and hugs, pausing to make love to the camera every now and then, and it’s kind of working as an act. Vocally he’s nothing special tonight, but he’s holding it down. Someone didn’t think the camera work through quite right, so we have a solid ten seconds of the back of his bald little head before they figure it out. Phil has a really small head, like a character from Goonies or something. I just noticed that. Ha! Randy’s all like, “From an accomplished producer,” as he gestures to himself, “you’re going to have a career in country music.” Randy is nothing if not modest. Paula is in that weird place where I’m not sure if she’s high or stupid, but she liked it, I think. Simon liked it quite a bit. Ryan, making fun of Phil, goes “Woooo!” and makes a face that I think is supposed to be hard-core, but you know what he looks like? That’s painting, The Scream? Of that ghost-like dude? If you still have this episode TiVo’d, go to minute 8, wait ’til Ryan goes “Woooo!” and pause it. Then look at that painting. I think Ryan was the model. And then Ryan, again making fun of Phil, goes “Love you love you!” and suddenly I realize that he was the inspiration for Crank Yankers‘ Special Ed. Ryan, darling, Phil is not the one walking away from this encounter feeling silly.

Jordin Sparks. “A Broken Wing,” by Martina McBride. Martina’s watching her sing this, making that face you make when you’re really jealous because someone is totally doing your thing but they’re doing it better and they’re younger and it sucks but you can’t let on that you actively hate them for this. “Oh my God,” says Martina. “That was awesome. I truly resent the limitless opportunities in your future, and the fact that you’ll look way better than me after Hollywood inevitably beats thirty pounds off you.” Except she didn’t say that last part out loud. Wow, they have really figured out how to do Jordin’s make-up over there, and her face just looks stunning. It’s the second week in a row I’ve thought this. Really, truly beautiful. Never mind that she’s dressed for the Renaissance Fair. She has grown by leaps and bounds as a performer, she understands how to work the camera now (maybe taking tips from Sanjaya?), and this girl has a real shot at winning this whole thing. I’d never have guessed. The crowd is going fucking crazy. I just got chills. Truly, for the first time since Kelly Clarkson, a performer on this show just gave me chills. It’s a very A Star is Born sort of moment. This girl is amazing. Um, when did she get a nose ring? Did she have that before? Randy loved it. So did Paula. Simon says, for the first time, he believes she can win this. Lilliputian Ryan chats her up.

SANJAYA!!!! Is dressed as a mechanic. Big ole’ red bandana, gray top, ratty jeans. Ryan asks him a viewer question: if you can ask a judge to sing one song, what would it be? Sanjaya’s all like, “I’d have Simon Cowell sing ‘Shining Happy People’ so that he could show his true personality,” and that was very cute of him. Sanjaya’s singing “Something to Talk About” tonight, and there are no words for how happy this makes me. He then proceeds to saunter out on stage and speak the words to the Bonnie Raitt classic. I mean, there’s music playing in the background, but this may as well be a dramatic reading of the lyrics at a WeHo open mic. “Sing? Why would I sing? Do you have any idea how hard it is to sing when there’s a bandana on your head? If you get too excited it might move out of place. Which camera’s on me now? Can someone feed me my line? Did you see my necklace? It’s gold and big. Line! It’s cute when I shake my ass. Is someone getting my soda? Is there an intern on that? Because last time it was flat. Line!!” Um, the judges’ comments are, well, accurate. “Utterly horrendous,” says Simon. “It was as bad as anything we see at the beginning of American Idol!” Ryan cuts him off and Simon gets all pissed off and motions him away. “To the left, to the left,” he speak-sings, and it’s pretty cute. “I know this has been funny for awhile,” says Simon, “but … it was hideous. Ridiculous choice of song.”

LaKisha. “Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood. Martina actually tears up in the rehearsal. This is totally a song LK can rock, and I’m psyched to hear it. She starts off solid, but her breathing’s timed all wrong, and it’s very strange. Not as strange as her boots, which she borrowed from Steven Tyler back in 1989. Was she even born in 1989? Jesus. I’m going to hit menopause soon, aren’t I? She’s pretty good, but it’s possible she’s actually too emotionally invested in the song. Her vocals aren’t anywhere near as controlled as they usually are. She’s singing too much from her heart with not enough focus on the technical aspects. Randy mentions the weakness in the vocals and the early pitch problems. He’d hoped she’d put a gospel spin on it. Paula agrees with Randy, mentions that she was shouting more than singing. “I don’t think you and that song went well together,” says Simon. LK looks like she’s about to cry.

Chris Richardson. “Mayberry,” by Rascal Flatts. Will somebody please do something about the moustache? It starts off way, way rough. Chris can’t find the rhythm, let alone the tune. He’s dressed like New Kids on the Block is casting again. This is pretty much a giant clusterfuck. He never quite catches up with the band and the vocals feel distracted as he focuses on that. Randy didn’t feel any emotion from him. Paula talks. Simon notes that his vocal sucked and that he was nasal. Ugggggh. In his interview with Ryan, Chris is all like, “Nasally is a form of singing. I don’t know if you knew that,” and ohhhhh Simon’s all like, “What the fuck did you just say, you snot-nosed brat?” and this goes on for a minute until Chris plays the Virginia Tech card and Simon damn near has to bite his own tongue off.

Melinda. Answers a viewer question about her craziest fan experience by lying. “There was this lady, and I just heard her say ‘Oh my God’ and run towards me, so I was like ‘What?’ and I ran!” Everyone laughs. Really, Melinda? You ran? Just fucking took off running? That’s what happened? Are you modest, Melinda, or paranoid delusional? Because the line is beginning to blur for me. Singing “Trouble is a Woman.” Melinda looks cute tonight, very sassy. She shows a young, fun side of her personality, like Simon’s been begging her to do. This is working pretty well, I’m digging it. The crowd is digging it, too, but it’s still nowhere close to the reaction Jordin got. Randy thought it was solid. Paula thought it was a good song choice. She’s a little high tonight. Ha ha ha ha ha!! Simon’s like, “Melinda, I’m about to compliment you, and I’m going to ask you to lose the surprise.” And finally — finally! — Melinda accepts praise in a manner that doesn’t make me want to vomit on my television. She smiles confidently but not cockily. Way to go, Simon. I might not have to hate Melinda anymore. That would be nice. It will leave more room to hate other things, like my day job and my ex-boyfriend and olives, and that’s important to me. Fuck olives. How does anyone eat those things? They taste like poison.

Blake Lewis. “When the Stars Go Blue,” Tim McGraw. I have a feeling Blake is going to kill this, and I’m excited. Blake is growing on me. Blake looks adorable, in a black-and-white argyle vest, black pants and white collared button-up. He’s growing into a total hottie. He’s a little pitchy, and it’s not as great as I’d hoped, but he’s still a lot of fun to watch. He’s become one of my favorites around here, and is easily the front-runner among the men (I refuse to count Sanjaya). Randy liked him, Paula is drunk, and Simon wasn’t impressed but thought it was okay. And, just to dampen the mood a bit, Simon drops the Virginia Tech bomb. And it’s all well and good and I’m certain it’s genuinely felt, but maybe he could have waited until Blake was off the stage before he said it. Honestly, he was like, “Yeah, Blake, that wasn’t so great, and also how sad was that Virginia Tech thing? But Blake didn’t sing that well.” I dunno. It was a strange segue, and it’s probably because they’re running short on time and Simon wanted to get it in, but it went, like, Blake, Tragic Mass Murder, Blake, and then immediately afterwards Blake’s forced to sit there grinning as Ryan reads off his number, and that’ll have to have a psychological impact on voters.

Who goes home? Eh. LaKisha, maybe? Or Chris? There’s not an easy one to pick off in this crowd, and Sanjaya may find himself in the bottom three.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

JenLop (my new nickname for her) is now suing the most credible news source on the planet, the BBC. Oh no wait, I meant The National Enquirer.

DUBLIN (AP) — Jennifer Lopez and her husband, Marc Anthony, are suing The National Enquirer in European courts over the tabloid’s claims they were linked to a drug scandal, their Belfast lawyer said Monday.

See? What are they seeking you ask?

“a six-figure settlement”

Hmmm, that seems a little lame. Don’t you usually sue for 60 kajillion dollars and then settle for a million or so? I thought that was how it worked. They are suing because the rag alleged that they were “caught up in a heroin scandal” which is of course false. The scandal turned out to be only crack pipe related. One fun part is they are suing in Europe because:

“The First Amendment restrictions in U.S. libel law make it virtually impossible for international celebrities or other high-profile individuals to sue successfully (said their attorney Paul Tweed)”

Ugh. The First Amendement is sooooo annoying. As is having a tangible place where someone can serve you with a lawsuit. And now, the kicker! For the lawyer, Paul Tweed, this marks the second time he’s represented a high profile celebrity against the publication. Check it out:

In July 2006, he secured a published apology in the European edition of the Enquirer for an article that claimed pop singer Britney Spears was about to divorce Kevin Federline.

You see, it wasn’t until November that the two would split up. The Enquirer has got to stop trusting their psychics. Those guys are only accurate so far as alien stuff is concerned!

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Sanjaya who?

Carrie Underwood reminded us what a real American Idol talent is all about, as she kicked ass and took names at the CMT Awards. Underwood won all three of the awards for which she was nominated: “Before He Cheats” took Video of the Year, Female Video of the Year and Video Director of the Year (actually, this one went to that video’s director, but still).

Carrie kinda acknowledge Idol in her acceptance speech. “It was at the CMT Awards last year that I gave my very first acceptance speech ever,” she said. “Let me tell you, it’s great to be up here again…I started out on a fan-based show, and you guys have continued to support me through everything.”

The Dixie Chicks — although they fared well at the Grammy’s — didn’t have so much luck with country music’s core audience; they left empty-handed, perhaps a reflection of some lingering resentment toward Natalie Maines’ anti-Bush remarks in — when? — 1987 or so?

Kenny Chesney won Best Male Video for “You Save Me,” and Best Group Video went to Rascal Flatts for “What Hurts the Most.”

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Britney Spears is in for yet another break-up. The rehabbing pop tart has reportedly dumped her manager, Larry Rudolph, again. According to Page Six, Spears ditched Rudolph because she blames him for her recent career missteps — the most prominent of which, she feels, was her brief and crotch-shot-filled friendship with Paris Hilton (which quickly turned into enmity). Spears famously reunited with Rudolph — the manager who saw her through the peak of her fame — after she announced her plans to divorce Kevin Federline. The two have been rumored to be on rocky ground ever since Spears left rehab at Promises Malibu late last month.

Britney continues to shake up her management team, deciding to rehire her former publicist, Leslie Sloan-Zelnick, the uber-rep responsible for spin control for a variety of starlets, including Lindsay Lohan. Sloan-Zelnick was reportedly furious with Britney for doing the infamous Matt Lauer interview without her input, and the two ended their relationship soon after. Apparently Britney recently reconsidered, and Leslie’s back on-board, so at least her split with her manager will be spun well in the media.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

And they are coming for your children.

Also, some good news, Carrie Underwood has pledged she will wear less clothing next year.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Maxim has named Sanjaya its “Girl of the Day.” I think Maxim is trash, poor writing and a poor concept - but I have to give them credit here.

I’ve hung out at a lot of bars, and I’d say 90% of the women on Earth don’t take care of their hair the way Sanjaya does. So ladies, the lesson here: develop that winning smile and some golden locks and you too can be Maxim’s gal of the day.

But don’t EVER get a fauxhawk. Those are just ass.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save his money like he’s trying to save the environment. Despite campaigning for environmental causes and ensuring that he helps get the word out about the need to reduce our global footprint, DiCaprio gave away less than $50,000 from his fortune in 2005. Britney Spears, on the other hand, gave over 12 times that amount that year:

In total, Britney gave away $590,000 in 2005, including $350,000 to relief programs related to Hurricane Katrina. Spears donated $175,000 alone to Habitat for Humanity.

On the other hand — and just by comparison for a celebrity of her generation and income — actor Leonardo DiCaprio only gave away $48,025 in 2005 to a handful of groups from his own registered tax-exempt foundation.

DiCaprio commands between $12 million and $15 million per film, at least, and famously made $10 million from “Titanic” in 1997.

Spears, on other hand, hasn’t worked in a long time and is certainly cash-depleted, thanks to the Federline situation.

Spears is also the target of the worst publicity in the world. But thanks to Nina Biggar, who runs the Britney Spears Foundation from her home in Cambridge, Mass., the pop star can count her charitable giving as a bright spot in her sketchy world.

Britney gave a foolish $30,000 to a Kabbalah education group, Spirituality for Kids, but her other donations to Hurricane Katrina and Habitat for Humanity were certainly well-spent.

It’s kind of surprising to hear how little DiCaprio gave in 2005 and maybe he’ll step it up once he realizes the news is out. His mother moved from Germany as a child and he mostly lived with her after his parents divorced when he was one. His father was around and re-married, while his mother worked several jobs. He also spent time in Germany with his mother’s family and speaks German fluently. [Information from Wikipedia]

I know my German in-laws are pretty conservative about money. He probably learned frugality from his mother, who must have struggled to make ends meet. It makes sense that he would work hard for environmental causes, and that same drive to conserve has probably led him to be careful with his money.

I’m surprised Britney is so charitable in comparison and that gives me a better impression of her.

Thanks to WeSmirch for linking this.

Update: a lot of people are calling bullshit on this story, and saying that just because DiCaprio only declared 50k in donations it doesn’t mean he didn’t give much more. He was said to have given an “undisclosed” amount to the tsunami relief effort in 2005 (thanks Diva) and it’s possible he gives anonymously to other charities, as many commentors have mentioned. Sorry for relying on this one story for the information.

Source: seriouslyomg.com

4/15/2007
Hawaii

It’s only a family vacation. We had a great time in Maui - hope everyone had a great spring break too - no photographers.

Thank god I don’t have a google alert on myself (like some people I know do on themselves) - I’ve just been sent some pics from Hawaii - I have to laugh - well at least the world knows I don’t get botox - ha!…I’m much hotter in my mind - (I swear I look better) - then again I hardly check a mirror before I go outside - may start doing that more.

I may have to start working out too though - genes and gymnastics have gotten me this far.

I just refuse to let these paparazzi ruin my time or my lifestyle in general with my children - I’m not going to spend time putting makeup on or staying covered up on the beach - it’s definitely surreal though - I think I look alright but everywhere you turn you have a camera in your face - up you butt - it’s crazy - too many tabloids - must be running out of stuff to print…I’m a semi-retired single mom - hello?

I’m having a great time with my kids always!…nothing new.

Pamela Anderson (story) and I’m Not Obsessed (photo) 

She just earned some bonus points in my books for this! Gotta love her for being real!!! Well at least in her feelings. 

Source: seriouslyomg.com

(photo credit Isabella Vosmikova/FOX)

According to Zap2It, Fox has pulled tomorrow’s episode of Bones that is about a male student athlete found dead under the bleachers in a college gym. A Fox spokesperson said, "Out of sensitivity to the victims and families touched by this senseless tragedy, we felt the change was appropriate." A repeat of Bones will air in the place of the yet to be rescheduled "Player Under Pressure" episode.