While Naomi Watts has kept mum on the subject of pregnancy rumors, plenty of other folks have been doing the talking for her. Naomi’s Oscars gown was Escada, and a rep for the house issued this press release on Sunday: “The ESCADA gown set off her most precious new asset – the baby she is expecting with longtime boyfriend Liev Schreiber.”

Last night, Schreiber appeared on Conan O’Brien and confirmed the news himself: “Yes, I’m going to be a dad,” he said. “Very exciting.” According to Schreiber, Naomi commented that “it’s a very auspicious thing that our embryo is going to be at the Oscars.” See, you know she’s Australian, because she says things like “auspicious.” Attractive women from America don’t know what that word means. Say “auspicious” to Jessica Biel at the Oscars and she’ll be like “God bless you,” but you won’t notice because you’ll be panicking, having been momentarily blinded by her dress.

Congratulations to the couple, and we wish them a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Eddie Murphy’s rep/paid liar has come out today defending the Oscar nominee’s behavior at the Academy Awards on Sunday. After Alan Arkin beat out Murphy in the Best Supporting Actor Category Eddie Murphy left the auditorium and didn’t go to any of the post Oscar bashes.

“Eddie had always planned on leaving after his category was announced to spend the rest of the evening with his family. He did the same thing following the Golden Globe Awards.”

Storming out of the Oscars isn’t cool. Most people don’t leave after their category and miss their co-stars’ big performance. Ah “Norbit” wasn’t the best idea was it Eddie?

First off: bolero. That is apparently what we were supposed to call that metallic thing draped across Jennifer Hudson’s shoulders at the Oscars. Instead, we called it a spacesuit, we called it horrendous, we called it nauseating, and we called it a mistake. So did Jennifer.

In a Today Show interview, she told Matt Lauer that the outfit was her only Oscars regret. A source at Page Six says that Vogue and its editor-at-large, Andre Leon Talley, was behind the mess. I should have known. That thing just smelled like Talley. “Jennifer was kind of sponsored by Talley and Vogue,” says the source. “Andre insisted she wear that hideous Oscar de la Renta dress with the awful, awful gold python bolero. Jennifer really didn’t want to, and so [noted celebrity stylist] Jessica Paster got her a beautiful gold Roberto Cavalli custom-made. But when Andre found out, he went ballistic. Moments before she left for the show, there was a power struggle and Jennifer ended up putting his outfit on.”

Hey, Jen, a little tip: ditch Vogue. First they did that mucho unflattering cover shot and photo spread of you, and now this? Jennifer. Vogue hates you. I swear, this is all part of Anna Wintour’s campaign to prove that anyone with a BMI over 17 cannot be attractive. Get away, Jennifer! Start up your jet packs and hit warp speed!

I don’t know why this is so incredibly funny to me. Maybe because I went to Arizona State, where I’m fairly certain vanity hit that asymptotic high point after which any further changes are infinitesimal in, like, 1987. I’m not sure why they even bother holding classes there anymore. Classes are to frat parties at ASU the way that television programming is to commercials at NBC: just the tedious filler in between the rapes value-added content. Asymptotes? I learned about them in high school. Vomiting in the shower without allowing it to clog the drain? That, I mastered as a Sun Devil, baby!!! (And a special welcome to all 500 visitors an hour who will now show up here looking for pro-mia content … here’s a tip: stop.)

Ahhh….

Article here if you care.

Foxy Brown, as female rappers are wont to do, has come out swinging.

The only crime I’m guilty of is being a young black woman,” Brown said.

Hmmm. Well being a young black woman isn’t a crime so you should be good to go. I imagine the lawyers will have a field day for them even charging you with being young and black. You still shouldn’t have confessed to that though, make them prove it to a jury.

Police in Florida have said that Brown spat on the store’s owner and then got into a scuffle with an officer in the parking lot.

Hey, wait a sec! Why are they charging her with being a young/black/female when they could just bust her for assaulting an officer?? What a bunch of goofs! She’s totally going to beat the rap of being a young black woman because that’s not an actual crime you poor fools!

Brown was charged with resisting an officer and simple battery, police said.

Oh. Huh. Well she’s in a lot more trouble than she thinks then because while they have plenty of YBF’s down in SoFlo they don’t have a ton of police assaulters . They tend to throw that sort of gal in the clink. Back to the drawing board Foxy’s lawyers, sorry, for a sec there I thought you were home free.

It seems as though Posh and KatCruise are in a tiff.

Why you ask? Perhaps it has something to do with Posh slamming the Science religion. There are all sorts of fun quotes here but it’s my sacred duty to distill them into one comedy nugget. Here goes:

According to Victoria’s friend, it all boils down to this: “Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert.”According to the NY Daily News, Victoria told a pal: “There’s no way I’d spend any money on that nonsense,” regarding the cultish “religion.”

You got it, the issue isn’t Xenu or the fact that the religion was written about 40 years ago by a guy whacked out of his mind on sedatives, no it’s all about the finances baby.

Posh remembers those pre-Spice days, back when she was eating Chef Boyardee out of a can. And who can blame her? Baby Spice is probably working the street right now.