Terra Naomi: The Vicodin Song

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I usually leave music posting around here to Lars and T, but this song came on my Pandora box the other day, and I was instantly obsessed. It gives me chills every time I hear it. The artist is Terra Naomi — her website is here — and I recommend you all give this a listen. Vocally, lyrically and musically it’s phenomenal. She reminds me of Tori back in the Little Earthquake days, but a little more linear. (I love you Tori!)

Published on February 3rd, 2007 in Terra Naomi

My 6.5 Hour Journey

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I’ve been away for a long time and judging by the hundreds of emails that have poured in you want me back in a big way.

I know it baby, I know.

I flew home from JFK last night, 6.5 hours, and I was on JetBlue so we had DirectTv. I stumbled upon something that left me shocked and saddened. Nancy Grace. Take a look.

Now, I realize that freaky looking people make it on TV all the time, but do annoying freaky looking folks also make it? I mean really, she looks like she would eat a puppy. And then she’d come for you. Just a fair warning guys, watch out.

Published on February 3rd, 2007 in Nancy Grace Eats Small Mammals

Things Are Getting a Bit Hairy for Alicia Keys

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Alicia Keys needs to stop fallin’ in and out of love and start fallin’ in and out of a razor.

You know, one of these days I’m going to be really sorry for all the time I’ve invested in being unnecessarily cruel to public figures without any thought at all as to how it might make them feel. I just want you guys to know that I know that.

Thanks to PotP for the heads-up (via Bossip).

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Alicia Keys

I Am a Pathetic Human Being…

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

…however, I am a stellar gossip blogger.

I took this quiz on celebrity body parts, and I got 13 out of 15 right. Even the quiz thinks I’m crazy. Its reaction to my score: “Um, stalkerazzi? Jeez. Turn that gaze inward a bit, eh?”

For someone who’s never had a particularly artistic bent, or a keen eye for visual detail, this is really, really sad. That I can be shown a picture of a forehead and immediately think to myself, “Oh, that’s Christina’s.” Christina Ricci, that is. But in my head, we’re totally on a first-name basis. And I know her forehead. I could probably not ID a photo of my mother’s forehead, given a photo forehead line-up of other non-famous mothers in their 50s (um … except my mom is totally 32 … she swears), but if you put a photo of Christina Ricci’s forehead in there, as I’ve just proven, I will find it.

So you’re welcome, people. I am just that dedicated to my craft. I am an exceptional celebrity gossip blogger. And so what if it means I have no boyfriend and no friends and no other hobbies and the person on this earth to whom I’m most connected is a functionally schizophrenic photographer who thinks his cats speak to him and … oh, no, that’s Courteney Cox[-Arquette]’s character on Dirt. But it’s just not that far off from where my life is headed.

Whatevs. Take the quiz. We’re all in this together, kids.

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Our Evil Cohorts

Fashion Victim of the Week

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Matronly anybody? I don’t understand why you would want to kick your butt to be a skinny starlet and then wear a big black sack that is essentially strangling your boobs. I know Anne Hathaway wanted to look like a serious actress but she just came off as looking a bit doudy and toothy. That whole multi-tier dress thing doesn’t really work for anybody. Black is slimming but unfortuneatly not in this case. Lets try some color and cleavage next time darling.

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Uncategorized

Farrah Fawcett Kicks Cancer in the Anus

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Wow, I get to write two stories with good news in one day! First, Patrick Dempsey’s wife gives birth to two healthy twin boys, and now the news that Charlie’s Angel Farrah Fawcett received a clean bill of health from UCLA Med after battling anal cancer for the past four months. (My happiness is tempered by the fact that I did have to write something about Paris Hilton earlier today, but I’ll get over it.)

Farrah, who just turned 60, was told by her doctors that her “prognosis is excellent.” Says Fawcett:

I have been on a journey for the past four months and during this time received a tremendously aggressive treatment which doctors initially warned me would be the most difficult fight of my life. I was told they needed me to ‘bite the bullet’ and that would require great courage and unfailing determination. In the face of excruciating pain and uncertainty, I never lost hope and it never occurred to me to stop fighting—not ever.

I hope that my news might offer some level of inspiration to others who unfortunately must continue to fight the disease. So to those who are still struggling toward their own victory, stay determined, ‘fight the fight’ and I will keep you and your families in my thoughts and prayers.

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Farrah Fawcett

McDreamy’s a McDaddy!

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I know, I know. Horribly cliche headline. But it’s 2 pm on Friday and I haven’t slept much this week, so give me a break, okay? Grey’s Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey and his wife welcomed twin boys, named Sullivan Patrick and Darby Galen, on Thursday afternoon. Dempsey and his wife, Jillian, already have one daughter, Tallulah, who is five years old. Mom and babies are healthy and happy.

The ultra-hunky Dempsey graces the cover of Details magazine this month, and the actor opens up to the publication for a full-length piece (read it here). For as much success as Dempsey’s found on Grey’s, his dreams are even bigger: “Things are going well, but I’m not satisfied. I don’t think the character is going to change that much. Shonda Rhimes has created a great show. And I’m contributing to that and have benefited from that profoundly. And she’s benefited by being smart enough to cast me when no one else did. [It’s] been a great opportunity, but it’s not the end-all, be-all of where I want to go.”

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Patrick Dempsey

Sarah Silverman, Will You Be My Sister?

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I spend a truly unforgivable amount of time watching television by myself in my living room. I get considerable enjoyment from most of these hours, but it’s very, very rare that I will actually laugh out loud, by myself, in my living room while watching television. Laughing, in that respect, is different from the consumption of alcohol and/or week-old pizza and the use of my vibrator. But I digress.

I totally laughed out loud tonight. Like eight times. I don’t know what it is about Sarah Silverman, but her comedy is truly original. It’s tricky to pin down what makes something funny, but I’ve heard again and again that humor is something both true and unexpected. Sarah’s a genius with this, particularly the latter part. I mean, at this point, we do expect to hear from her on the Holocaust, black people, gays and the government, but somehow her angle is totally fresh each time. There’s no way to explain it. You just have to watch.

If you missed The Sarah Silverman Program, catch it one of the 1800 times Comedy Central will rerun it this week. You won’t regret it.

Published on February 2nd, 2007 in Sarah Silverman